Sensitive Mothering and Child Development Theory

Introduction to Sensitive Mothering

Although the nature vs. nurture controversy continues regarding the degree to which nurturing influences childhood development, research suggests that a particular parenting style is preferred: so-called sensitive mothering. Sensitive mothering is defined as being "highly responsive and available" to a child's needs (Spinrad & Sifter, 2011). Mothers who could pick up on their child's nonverbal signals "were more likely to have infants who developed more harmonious relationships with their mothers" (Spinrad & Sifter, 2011). These children were also more likely to develop positive social relationships with others.

Attachment Theory: Bowlby and Ainsworth

While the theory of sensitive mothering originated in an era when women were assumed to be the primary caregivers of children, this child development theory is valuable for teachers and other primary caregivers to study, as well as parents of both genders. The style is particularly congruent with the principles of Montessori education.

Childhood development theorist John Bowlby conducted pioneering research in the field of infant development and separation anxiety. He was the first to apply Freudian theories to biological research regarding infant development. "Bowlby proposed that 1–2-month-olds' unmistakable attachment behavior is made up of a number of component instinctual responses that have the function of binding the infant to the mother and the mother to the infant" (Bretherton, 1992). Bowlby was also the first to coin the phrase "separation anxiety" and to challenge Freud's notion that over-mothering was the primary source of neurosis. In fact, Bowlby countered that coldness and a failure to acknowledge the child's needs with supportive responses were more psychologically damaging in the long term. The child's desire to be with the mother was normal developmentally, as was the mother's desire to comfort the child.

Three phases of separation response were observed when a child was left by a parent: protest (crying and evident anxiety), despair (a sense of hopelessness that the mother would return), and then, upon the mother's return, denial or detachment as a defense mechanism. The infant communicated a lack of need to the mother as a way of repressing the previously expressed anxiety (Bretherton, 1992).

Drawing upon her colleague Bowlby's findings, Mary Ainsworth conducted clinical experiments to support and extend his conclusions. Ainsworth's research provided evidence of what can occur when children's expressed needs — including the need for a parent — are ignored. "Mothers who were rated as highly sensitive, in contrast to other mothers who seemed imperceptive of the nuances of infant behavior," appeared to have infants who were more resilient and experienced less distress (Bretherton, 1992). "Three infant attachment patterns were observed: Securely attached infants cried little and seemed content to explore in the presence of their mothers; insecurely attached infants cried frequently, even when held by their mothers, and explored little; and not-yet-attached infants manifested no differential behavior to their mothers" (Bretherton, 1992).

Ainsworth stated that the first category of child had experienced a secure enough attachment to caregivers to interact with strangers comfortably. The second category — the anxious-resistant, insecurely attached child — "was anxious among strangers even when the caregiver is present and becomes distraught if the caregiver leaves. Instead of being happy when the trusted caregiver returns, the child is resentful and resistant to attention" (Mary Ainsworth: Noteworthy Psychologist, 2010). The third, disengaged "anxious-avoidant insecure attachment" child is emotionally unresponsive to both strangers and the parent (Mary Ainsworth: Noteworthy Psychologist, 2010). The second and third children's needs had not been acknowledged appropriately by their parents, and as a result these children manifested either anxiety or indifference toward their parents and around others.

Conclusion

Maria Montessori stressed that from birth children have absorbent minds that are constantly taking in and adapting to new stimuli. Montessori recognized that children are always learning and that teachers must ensure the lessons they absorb are positive rather than negative. When a mother picks up and comforts a child who is crying, she teaches the child that the world is a secure place. In contrast, when a parent ignores a crying child, that parent teaches the opposite lesson by disregarding the child's needs. Sensitive parenting — and sensitive relationships with children more broadly — demand that adults understand that children are always communicating, and that an adult's reaction plays a powerful role in shaping the child's long-term development.