(Boardman 100-101)
There is a clear sense that men and male children in particular were considered precious, and in many ways comparatively much more precious than women and girl children but this is in part because of women as the position of wife was subservient to the position of mother in law. The assurance that one day the wife would hold the household power of the mother in-law was only offered by a male child as female children when married left home for good and served their marriage family in direct orders of their new mother in-law. This is true of most classes but again was stricter in terms of the upper-class. (Mann 61) in other words if a female child is born she is expected in her lifetime to only contribute to her birth family for her childhood, and adolescence after this time the industry of her labour would benefit her marriage family, excluding the monies and goods obtained by the birth family from her marriage.
Along these lines the tradition of studying lamentations, a highly ritual and rare public expression by women during the period preceding her marriage and permanent residence in her marriage home, is paramount. In many cases in all classes and across regions the marriage ceremony is tied up in contradictions of feeling, as a daughter must successfully transition herself (with the help of her birth family and others) from a daughter to a dutiful wife. In doing so she has conflicting feelings of sorrow, for leaving her birth home and family as well as even possible joy and excitement, at transitioning into a new and exciting life with her husband's family. It is also postulated that even in arranged marriages most women have some choice with regard to their marriage partner and family, as most cultures have a tradition of many formal meetings with the new family. Lamentation are seen as a traditional allowance of the bride to express her feelings to the point of resolution. For example here is an insider's view of this very public display offered exclusively by women and to her whole community. McLaren & Qinjian quote an elderly Chinese woman who expressed the ideal of lamentations, which from an outside perspective express only grief and subjugation or assumed subjugation of women.
"…one laments to the point where the noxious influences are expelled. It is considered unlucky to go happily to the groom's home. Everyone must be very sombre, no one is allowed to laugh or smoke. If lamentations are powerful and effective they can get rid of the "hungry ghosts," the souls of those who die with a grievance and who in turn prey on the living. The bride must continue lamenting until the point where her married home is in sight. Here she must stop lamenting or else the noxious influences, pushed thus far along the route, will poison her new home.'?" The expression of grievance is arguably more communal than individual, more ritual than personal; nonetheless, the repertoire is sufficiently flexible to allow a woman various choices, depending on her own situation. (McLaren & Qinjian 210)
The development of lamentation studies began with the assumption, in the western view that the lamenting done by the bride was literal, in the sense that she meant the grief she...
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