The hardest decision ever made

¶ … Hardest Decision I Ever Made

Toby was the first dog I ever raised from a puppy, after I adopted him from the local shelter. He was a friendly, gentle Black Labrador Retriever who loved Frisbees, tennis balls, and sleeping next to the fireplace. Ever since he was a puppy, he was friendly to everybody he ever met, including other animals of every kind. He seemed to know, instinctively, whenever someone was afraid of him, because as soon as anybody hesitated on his friendly approach, he would stop in his tracks and lie down in front of them; propped up on his elbows, he would slowly creep the rest of the way to them until they reached down to pet him. As soon as they did, he would pop back up and rub himself all over them. Sometimes, they were still scared, but by then it was too late, because they were already friends. Toby seemed to know that infants, both human and non-human, were helpless, because he was even more gentle with them. Likewise, with small children, Toby would stay on his elbows or roll over completely onto his back for them, which always made them laugh. He was just as gentle with smaller animals and during his lifetime, won over the affections of numerous cats and unfriendly little dogs who hissed or barked at him, or in some cases, even bit him without provocation of any kind.

When Toby was eight years old, he developed a lump in his abdomen that the veterinarian diagnosed as an inoperable cancerous tumor. According to the vet, Toby was still asymptomatic, but would, in time, begin to suffer, as the cancer spread to his internal organs. The vet said that I would eventually have to decide when to put Toby down, because he could continue to live for quite a while after his first symptoms, but more and more uncomfortably. According to the vet, I would probably know when Toby began to suffer, because he would become less energetic and lose his appetite. The vet described a series of "ups and downs" and "good days and bad days" in Toby's future.