Singlehood, Childlessness, and Aging Siblings

Singlehood, Childlessness, and Aging Siblings in Later Life.

Despite its well-earned status as cliche, the phrase "change is the only constant" is no more true than for human beings. From birth to day, nearly constant change remains a fact of life. This is also true of people who age, as well as the relationships they experience. Many older people rely on their adult children or other family members for the help they need to live out their lives comfortably, with the assistance and physical resources they need. Indeed, even the dynamics of this process is changing as those born into the "baby boomer" generation age and become elderly. Complicating the issue regarding the elderly and how their care should be handled is the many different kinds of family situations that play a role. Many do have children who are able to help them with their basic needs, such as driving to a store or having their hair cut. Others, however, may have chosen to remain single or married and childless in the interest of their professional and career pursuits. Whatever these family circumstances are, they are bound to have a significant effect on the way in which we are able to live our lives in old age.

One of the most common factors affecting human life is relationships. Indeed, most people engage in at least one romantic-type relationship during their lifetime. Not all of these culminate marriage, and not all marriages include the decision and/or ability to have children. In later life, once professional and career goals are met, many choose to enter marriage only then, one of the benefits of which is companionship, which will likely last into old age. Many consider their sense of quality of life to be tied to relationships and their needs. Statistics show a tendency for men to experience better physical health, while women experience better mental health when they are married (Hollis-Sawyer, personal communication, 2013).

This, however, is not true in all cases. Since gaining equal rights to men in the workplace, women often exercise the choice to establish a professional career before indulging in marriage and family. This has a significant effect on later-life comfort. Snyderman (2007) cites the example of Barbara Meltzer, who has chosen a professional career. While she enjoys both her career and her life as a single woman, she is also involved in care giving activities for her 90-year-old mother. The fact that Barbara herself has no offspring herself to take care of her in the same way that she is doing for her own mother is creating considerable mental distress for her, even though she is aware of other support systems she will be able to make use of. Snyderman goes on to make the point that Barbara's situation is by no means unusual, as many of the baby boomer generation has made a similar decision; to remain childless throughout life or at least until later in life.

Hence, the situation that people entering old age today are facing, as well as the family structure they have as support, is significantly different from those faced by people of the same age group a generation ago. This is supported by statistics, where Snyderman (2007) quotes statistics comparing the situation during 1984 as compared to 2004, where 11.1% of women were childless during the 1980s, as opposed to 19.3% a decade later. At the time of Snyderman's article, this number was still increasing. I is also important to recognize that general culture tends to support marriage and stigmatize the decision to remain single (Chapter 5, p. 94). For today's single and aging baby boomers, this could impact their ability to find care settings to meet their particular needs.

It is, however, also important, when taking into account the mental effect of childlessness on individuals and couples, that individuals differ in terms of their life goals and values (Hollis-Sawyer, personal communication, 2013). According to Hollis-Sawyer, there are about 20% among older people who do not have children. As pointed out by Snyderman (2007), this could have an impact on the quality of life older people might expect. The relationship of children with their parents places them in a position where their feelings for their parents influence their willingness to provide care. Indeed, a child's willingness to provide for aging parents may exceed he quality of personal care that they might receive in institutional or social care settings.

As implied, however, this is not always or necessarily the case. Many children do not have sufficient love for their parents to even enter them into an adequately equipped social care setting. Hence, not having children could result in a greater sense of well-being for aging people who feel in control of their own research and decision-making processes. In other words, before becoming so elderly that one's physical and mental processes are compromised, those without children tot help them with decisions later in life tend to provide for their own older age by means of researching care options. This could result in a powerful sense of autonomy, which means that, even when entering very old age, people who have made these decisions earlier in life are enjoying the results of decisions not made for them but rather by themselves. Hence, it is not necessarily the case that having children will increase one's life satisfaction (Hollis-Sawyer, personal communication, 2013). In many cases, this is due to individual preference; making the decision not to have children. It could also be due to the type of person one becomes during the growing and aging process. Some prefer to make their own decisions for as long as they are able. Others prefer to have the security of offspring to look after them and make decisions for them when they no longer can.

One important factor to also consider in this equation, however, is material well-being. Regardless of mental preference or well-being, it has been shown that older women who have been previously married are at risk of poverty, with more than one in five women living in poverty falling within the older age bracket, whether they have children or not. This complicates the concern with providing for oneself in later life. If there are children, the possibility of divorce or death should be taken into account, together with care giving possibilities for the future. If there are no children, married women will also have to think about the possibility of being alone in older age. Such awareness will make it possible for them to safeguard against becoming a poverty statistic. Hollis-Sawyer (personal communication, 2013) note that older people without children tend to compensate for family support by relying more heavily on community resources.