Procrastination: third person perspectives and analysis

Procrastination

THE FUNNY THING ABOUT PROCRASTINATION body remains at rest...unless acted upon by an outside force"

Newton's First Law

If there are any corollaries to Newton's Law of Inertia that apply to people, they would seem to be:

person remains at rest unless the consequences of continued procrastination outweigh the unpleasantness of interrupting his rest."

Procrastination is a very natural urge. It is most likely to overwhelm any competing inclination to action where there is no absolute deadline for completion, particularly where there is no risk of criticism from anyone with the power to punish one for it. The opportunity for procrastination within the professional arena is usually somewhat limited by the prospect of having to answer to one's superior prior to achieving one's procrastination potential. Conversely, household chores represent a virtually limitless opportunity for full expression of the procrastination urge, by virtue of the fact that one risks no criticism other than (perhaps) from one's spouse. Furthermore, procrastination is therefore also invaluable, as a tool of passive aggression where irritating one's spouse or significant other is a simultaneous urge.

Where a chore cannot be avoided, a person will continue to postpone beginning said chore until such time as there is slightly too little time left to complete it without undue haste."

Sometimes, procrastination is an indispensable ally, particularly where one has the luxury of so much time to complete a given task that it is simply impossible to maintain sufficient enthusiasm or energy, or to ignore competing urges and interests. In this respect, any household chore is a prime example, because even in the absence of any television program worth watching under ordinary circumstances, virtually any random channel selection is likely to reveal something sufficiently captivating so as to justify its continued postponement. In fact, one of the only reliable methods known for ensuring that a household chore receive sufficient attention to be completed properly is never to embark on said chore while it is still even conceivably possible to complete it without the impending threat of failing to do so by the time it absolutely must be done.

The maximum amount of time devoted to deciding how to save time, need not necessarily be any less than the total amount of time capable of being saved by the decision, and may, in fact, sometimes be more."

Ordinarily, one would never spend a dollar to save less than a dollar, but the true master of procrastination remains un-intimidated by this very closed minded and wholly unimaginative philosophical perspective. Advanced procrastinators frequently spend a half hour (or more) agonizing over which of two possible choices might save fifteen minutes. In its most radical use, one might also procrastinate by contemplating the choice between whether to clean the kitchen or the bathroom today, (if there is insufficient time for both chores). When executed properly, this method of advanced procrastination sometimes wastes enough time that completion of neither chore is still possible by the time of one's ultimate decision. In this respect, Corollary #3 is a perfect complement of Corollary #2, which it sometimes triggers.