Lover and Beloved -- Why

Lover and Beloved -- why they just aren't the same

Words change. They can evolve in meaning, drop out of favor, or be created out of necessity. The language of love has always been complex and, at times over saturated. It is because, while the feeling is not new, the interpretation can be difficult to express in one word or even one thousand. Love is a driving force in art, literature, and even life. It shapes us whether or not we ever live in its shadow. Indeed, the absence of love can have as strong of an effect on the psyche as living under the almost psychedelic haze of romantic affection.

While romantic love tends to take center stage, as we grow, many of us realize that love comes in many different forms. There is the love for one's family, friends, pets, self, and of course, for a romantic partner. The emotions are not the same, much like when you purchase yards of fabric, the fabric can be used to make many different outfits. Loving relationships and the language that defines them can have overlap. The words lover and beloved have a shared history, but relay two separate concepts today.

In the time of love poems, Beethoven famously wrote to his "immortal beloved" -- a woman who was the object of his affections and may have been his lover. A person, who is beloved, is someone that is loved above all things. They are placed on a pedestal of affection. Does a lover represent the best of someone's affection? Maybe in a moment of passion, but ultimately, the answer is no.

Many couples in long-term relationships and marriages can refer to one another as beloved to convey to others that their significant other is more important to them than anything. It is similar to more current incarnations like calling someone "my heart and soul" or even "soulmate." The issue a term like beloved is that on the flip side, children can also be referenced with the same term -- making the term more familial feeling. We marry and make families and they become our beloveds. A husband and wife can be beloved to one another, but they are also another word that denotes another kind of relationship -- lovers.

A lover represents something more than someone who is beloved. Where a beloved person is seen as benign, a lover is mysterious and sensuous. Lovers act on the feelings that they have and it is not through long walks in the park holding hands. The dirty side of love is that sex is most definitely involved and acts as the fuel to any lustful and loving fire. To be lovers is to be physical actors in a romantic theater.

A lover, also, does not have to be the most loved person in your life. Lovers do not have to be anything more than an instrument of lust. Lovers are fleeting; they can burn bright and extinguish quickly or evolve into being a beloved person. They can be dirty little secrets, like a mistress. While love can lead to being beloved, they can be completely separate in what they convey as being beloved is applicable to children, parents, significant others, and even pets.