¶ … Crucible Dearest John,

I am writing this letter in the hopes that I can explain myself and make you understand why I have done what I did. You are angry with me now and perhaps I deserve your anger, but you must know in your heart that your wife stood between us. We never could have been together so long as someone else called herself Mrs. John Proctor. That is a name that should be reserved for the one you love and I know that you never have loved her truly or else you would never have turned to me. Perhaps I am getting too far ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning. Please just read through this letter all the way through and by the end everything will be explained and it will make sense to you my dearest and you will have no choice but to forgive me.

Everything started out so simply. My friends and I were frolicking innocently in the forest. We weren't even doing anything dramatic or terrible. All we were doing was dancing and singing and making braids of flowers with darling Tituba. Oh poor, poor Tituba. You must take pity on her as you must take pity on me. Then my awful uncle came upon us and you know how he is. He began to scream and shout and declared that what we were doing was evil and the devil's work. I was so frightened. So was Betty. He scared her so that she had to feign a fit to get out of his wrathful hands! Before I knew it they called for that odious Reverend John Hale and he starts going on about how we have...

He threatened me with damnation and hellfire and promised that I and my friends would all be punished from God. The only thing I could do was cast the blame somewhere else or I would have been in even more trouble. He stood over me, towering in his robes of the clergy and demanded to know who had introduced me to witchcraft and devil worship. The first name that came into my head was Tituba's. Well, actually the first name that came to mind was yours but that is because you are always in my mind. Perhaps it is actually your fault. Could I have received from you even the slightest kindness that day in Betty's sick room I might have had the courage to stand up to that man. But no! You abandoned me and so I brought Tituba into the situation. She was the one who got us all dancing and fooling about in the woods when we should have been doing more productive things. I was not the one who said she was a witch. They were accusing me and I had to do something to get myself out of trouble and so I gave them the slave girl. From there things just seemed to spiral further and further out of control. Tituba was naming people and Betty was and I felt that if I did not likewise contribute then they would rise against me! Please understand John that I never intended to hurt anyone. It just was too much for me to fight against.
I'm sure that most of your present anger is not about the others, of Goody Osborne or the rest.…