Then during the phase of intersubjective relatedness, the focus switches to controlling, sharing, or influencing the subjective experience of self and others. At this stage, if caregivers are not emotionally attuned enough to the infant, problems may arise such as depression. If they are only attuned when the infant behaves a certain way, this may lead the child to start forming a false self in order to please others. There can also be misattunements between caretaker and child, in which one or the other misreads emotional cues and responds inappropriately. And it's very important for a caregiver's attunement to be authentic.
There are also four types of self-experience: social, private, disavowed, and "not me." Disavowed refers to the parts of self the child learns not to share, and the "not me" experience is the part of self that is repressed. If the child learns to repress a lot of their emotions, they might develop a related pathology.
Chapter 10
Some Implications for the Theories Behind Therapeutic Reconstructions
This chapter relates theories of development to the "observed" infant. Infants undergo a "stimulation barrier" period in which they can only tolerate certain levels of stimulation without becoming upset, and try to block out the excess. But across a person's life span, the basic quality of capacity for tolerating stimulation remains the same. Stern's main point about orality is that it's closely tied to the concepts of hunger and satiety, but is no more important at any stage than seeing or hearing. He also notes that many psychoanalytical theories about drive and ego don't fit very well with the observed infant. For example, they show signs of an active ego, as opposed to just an id, from very early on.
In addition, Stern agrees that infants experience a stage of connectedness with their mother that is very powerful, but he believes it is the result of actively constructing RIGs (representations of interactions with self-regulating others), as opposed to a passive developmental phase. Also, infants must be capable of holding onto memories of interactions with others long enough that they can both build relationships with others, and separate themselves from those relationships.
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