Resolve a Disagreement Peacefully Disagreements and Conflict

¶ … Resolve a Disagreement Peacefully

Disagreements and conflict are as much a part of life for most people as cooperation and understanding. That being the case, it is vital that intelligent, well-meaning people adopt sensible, proven strategies to resolve disagreements and conflicts. This paper provides strategies that can be embraced in order to avoid disagreements -- or at least resolve them peacefully once they are in play.

Because no two people see the world in exactly the same way, there are bound to be disagreements, and when one side makes unsupported assumptions about the other side that can very easily lead to disagreements and conflict. It is easy to simply say to those who may judge another person unfairly: well, don't make assumptions about people until the truth can be known or shown, but that's not the way people function. It is not a perfect world and unfair assumptions are going to be made. According to Sara Reistad-Long, there are five ways to keep the peace. One is to take a deep breath after being insulted -- or when feelings have been hurt by someone's false assumption -- and go out of your way to make eye contact and ask, "Did you realize when you said that it would have a hurtful affect on me?" (Reistad-Long, 2008). A second way to resolve a disagreement is to have a neutral third person help to resolve the issue by intervening before the disagreement turns to highly emotional conflict. That neutral third person should listen to both sides of the argument and ask the two parties to try and work toward a common goal, Reistad-Long explains. The third way to resolve conflict is to let the other person "win a few small points" as a way of "acknowledging his feelings and encouraging him to reciprocate" (Reistad-Long). Number four on this list is to simply shift focus away from yourself and towards the other person or persons in the discussion; think about why that person is stubbornly hanging on to a petty point-of-view, and then "…you've made room for compassion" (Reistad-Long). The fifth way to keep the peace is to immediately offer a compliment to the person that has made a statement that offends. "I really appreciate your passion for this," shows you are listening and are willing to acknowledge the other person's viewpoint, even if it is out of bounds.

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Conflict will occur and when it does it is important to keep in mind that it doesn't have to damage friendships or ruin business deals; what is also important is keeping perspective, looking at the big picture, and easing the stress by using sensible, peaceful tactics. Firstly, being prepared for a possible disagreement is important, according to Deb Peterson (About.com). That is, if conflict has been building up between two individuals at work, don't memorize a speech to give to that person but "…do a little soul-searching, a little self-examination, before talking it out with the other party" (Peterson, 2013). It is also wise not to let the confrontation get to the point of boiling over into shouting and even violence; instead, be prompt in getting this argument over with because the sooner it is confronted the easier it is to resolve, Peterson asserts. Another tactic to keep in mind is to find a private, neutral place to have it out; the public doesn't want to hear others' personality issues and certainly co-workers don't want to be distracted by two employees shouting and being stupid. That said, sometimes a manager's office is a better place to get all issues out on the table; or, if it involves teachers, a principal's office can be a sensible place to go back and forth towards a solution. What Peterson also suggests -- and this is pivotal -- is to be acutely aware of the body language you are showing. Show you care and maintain eye contact with the other person, but don't get into his face or make aggressive motions with arms or hands.