¶ … Divorce Position -- Against Divorce

Audience -- a couple that is in the danger of getting divorce

Marriage comprises of many changes and challenges and is the largest step that anyone makes. It is considered that the marriage of a Christian with great care and it is an occasion of great celebration. Marriage between two individuals is an event of great public celebration of God's grace and blessing. (Before you marry) Divorce is an event of failure and is considered as an individual disaster. Most religions consider divorce to be involving in sinful violation of God's law. (Bible Solutions to Divorce Problems) The present day's problem is the prevalent support for divorce and the common occurrence of divorce. Today, it is a fact that more and more marriages are becoming impermanent and less long lasting than they ever have been before. I am against the issue of getting divorced in marriage as it affects not only the partners concerned, but also their families and also the society as a whole.

We need to understand as to why marriages are breaking down today, and what are the important causes behind this? When one deals with environmental factors, one can state that men and women of today's world are not being taught the basic elementary and necessary skills which are being needed in order to manage and run a home successfully. Another important aspect, which is an important causal factor, is to know as to whether more happiness is being found within a marriage if the individual partners have similar characteristics, or if they are found to have dissimilar characteristics. While it could be said that too much of similarity may bring about the creation of boredom, too much of dissimilar characteristics between them may lead to situations of disagreements that may ultimately lead to divorce. Further the economic status of each of the partners, the social status that each have, their educational backgrounds, may all lead towards creating the required similarities and differentiations between the individual partners and the creation of feelings of superiority, snobbishness, and other tendencies may evolve if there is a wide element of differences between them. In today's world considering the above factors, both the individual partners have the need of several types of skills and maturity to have a successful marriage, and when these qualities and skills are not found to be present, the marriage would ultimately break down.

At present there are two types of families. First group of families have double-income couples that do not want to have children. The second type is also double-income couple but they want to have children and the wife is prepared to leave her profession for the sake of the children. Divorce is easy for the first type of couple, but it is difficult for the second type of couple as they have a complimentary role to play in their families. (Full Strength? Or Home Brew?) Diane Medved, the author of Case against Divorce quivers the shoulders of someone who has ever thought about parting or divorce. Medved states that divorce except for a few cases is a devastating error not only for the partners, but also for the whole set of relatives and friends, and certainly for society as a whole. Medved exposes the deception and temptations working faintly around us that support divorce and mislead us into thinking that a single life is better and that it is possible to get a better partner. She states that that divorce can sensitively, economically, and in psychological terms pervade the lives of divorced people for several years and also for the during the entire life time. (Review: The case against Divorce)

Further researchers like Jack Dominian have found that divorce is mainly associated with a wide range of physical and mental sickness. Divorced men are eight times more probable to commit suicide than married men. Further children are greatly troubled about their parents parting apart. The divorce of the parents leads to every social pathology for the children like suffering from inferior self-respect to that of failure and criminal behavior. Single parenthood, two thirds of which is created by divorce is almost identical with poverty and help enslavement. A child, who is not living with its own father, is found to be fourteen time more ill-treated than a child living with his father. This is not astonishing as a natural father is there for his children whereas a father-like figure is for his own motives. (The Engine of a Matrilineal Society: Alternative Routes)

The existence...

A father entertains his children and is in turn entertained by them. Secure families are essential for uniting society together as they form a vital viaduct between the person and the State. A family gives a parent a chance in society. In addition to being inspired to work, a parent is worried that the society that his children are growing up in is a better one that education functions well, that crime is lesser, that the atmosphere is good and secure. Mainly it is the parents who run all the clubs and societies that form an essential part of the social bond. When all these are removed, the person is a nomad and he feels sour and angry at the society. (The Engine of a Matrilineal Society: Alternative Routes)
When compared to children from integral married families, children from homes divided by divorce, or the parting of living together or real couples have twice the risk of a range of behavioral, emotional and performance difficulties. It is possible that they get into trouble with the law, to use the drugs, and have unstable relationships in the later part of their life. Children perform well when their married natural parents bring them up. Society is comfortable, and the taxpayer is also comfortable. It is very obvious that public policy should be towards intensifying marriage as the most appropriate atmosphere for bringing up the children. Another important point is that most reliant children are still brought up in secure married families and in most of these families; the mother remains full-time at home. (Full Strength? Or Home Brew?) Thus for the sake of the children and for the whole family, divorce should not be encouraged.

Linda Waite and a team of leading family scholars of the University of Chicago have done research to verify whether individuals who are trapped in bad marriages and gets divorced become happier. The study found no proof that miserable married adults who divorced were typically better off than miserably married couple that remained married. The researchers also found that two-thirds of miserably married partners who remained married reported that their marriages were cheerful five years later. Also, the most miserable marriages accounted the most striking turns: among those who valued their marriages as very sad, almost eight out of 10 who evaded divorce were happily married five years later. Naturally divorce did not lessen signs of depression, increase self-respect, or raise a feeling of mastery. (Does Divorce Make People Happy? Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages) Thus divorce will serve no purpose for what it was intended.

Even discontented partners who had divorced and remarried were not as cheerful as those who remained married. Remaining married is not only for the sake of the children. While some divorce is essential, particularly when a partner is mentally sick and would harm his/her partner, outcomes like these show that the advantages of divorce have been oversold. The authors of the study recommend that while removing some pressures and basis of possible harm, divorce produce problems as well. The decision to go in for divorce puts in motion a large number of procedures and happenings over which a person has little authority that is possible to greatly disturb his or her emotional well-being. These are the reactions of one's partner to divorce; the responses of children; likely dissatisfaction and annoyance in custody, child support, and visitation orders; new economic or health pressures for one or both parents; and new affairs or marriages. (Does Divorce Make People Happy? Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages)

Thus to conclude, one should not encourage getting divorced and try to save one's marriage at any cost, as getting divorced in marriage affects not only the partners concerned, but also their families and also the society as a whole. What is needed to save marriages from reaching divorce is to have a firm loyalty to marriage as a convention, and a great disinclination to divorce. In many cases, a powerful vow to remain married not only helps the couple in avoiding divorce, but also helps them to have a happier marriage.

Contented couples having successful marriages have high values for each other, they know how to end a quarrel and concentrate on the positive aspects. Marriages tend to get happier not only when the partners solved their problems, but also because they can stubbornly outlast them.…