Dignity and Self-Respect and Its Impact on Others

Respect and Dignity Linked to Self-Respect

Respect for others is not based on any sense of inferiority in one's self, instead it is based on something entirely opposite i.e. An ability to respect one's self and to see ourselves just as worthy of love and respect as anyone else. When a person extends respect to another human being, he demonstrates humility, acceptance and also proves that respect for others is a reflection of the kind of respect a person has in himself. This is not just hogwash but is a documented truth that has been reiterated by thinkers often. For example Powers and Faden (2008) write, "Respect for others is closely linked to self-respect. A capacity for self-respect involves an individual's capacity to see oneself as the moral equal of others and as an independent source of moral claims based on one's own dignity and worth. "(p. 22)

It is believed that people who do not have self-respect will often disrespect others or treat them poorly. This is because a person who respects himself understands why it is important to treat others with respect and believes in the basic dignity of human beings. It has been noticed that people who resort to violence often do so to demand respect from others and when they fail to get it, the only way they have left is violence which is the ultimate form of disrespect for another human being. But no one with a healthy sense of self-respect would ever want to hurt another human being through words or hands. Self-respect is defined as 'proper regard for oneself and one's own dignity and principles" (Oxford American. Dictionary, 1980). Dignity however cannot come from doing something wrong. We must understand that dignity is not easily gained as it is based on variety of important attributes and characteristics. A person who wants to feel dignified wouldn't resort to any actions in public or private that might make him look less dignified. The compromise on actions can often lead to loss of dignity and a person without scruples and principles is never a dignified person. Hence we agree that for a person to have dignity he must do what is considered right and mistreating others is not considered right. Therefore it is right to assume that a person who disrespects others is actually the one who doesn't have sense of self-respect and has no idea what is meant by dignity.

A person who lacks respect for himself is usually someone who has not accomplished much in life or has taken life for granted and hence taken the easy road. It is crucial to understand how self-respect is developed. It is not something that will always be there regardless of what actions we take. On the contrary the amount of respect we have for ourselves is directly linked with the actions we take. The immediate impact of an action may not be evident but if we observe ourselves closely, we can see that every wrong action or every socially unacceptable action that we might take would directly impact the amount of respect we have for ourselves and more wrong actions would thus means lower and lower self-respect.

A person who makes promises but fail to keep them is showing the world that he cannot be trusted. And whether he can see this or not, he is also telling himself that he is not a person who can keep promises and hence thinks of himself as weak and without much willpower. This lack of willpower to do the right thing eats on a person's sense of self-worth and he starts respecting himself less and less each day till he finally gives up completely and turns into a weak being who no one really respects. The lack of respect this person feels can also be felt by others and when this happens, the person also experience lack of control over others which is frustrating to him and he wants to find some way of making them respect him. When this doesn't happen, he can resort to disrespect, mistreatment, and even violence. Thus it is true to say that the higher the self-respect, the higher would be a person's regard for human dignity. This would then lead to respect for others and their opinions. We must know that intolerance shown during arguments and expression of opposing views is linked to the issue of respect. A person who doesn't treat others with tolerance and cannot tolerate opposition is someone who doesn't believe in fundamental rights of people to express what they feel. He wants to beat them into submission and this can be either in verbal or physical sense. When verbal abuse is extended to someone who may or may not be in one's care, the other person may start showing respect but it is not due to real regard for the violent person but rather out of fear.

No one in his senses would want to be respected out of fear alone. Respect must come from the heart and not from fear. But in many relationships we do notice that a person would be respecting or "so-called respecting" the other person out of fear and fear alone. This is seen in a student-teacher relationship as well. Teachers need to command respect by extending respect to students. They must show students that their views are important and worth some consideration. This would give students some confidence in their beliefs and they will also show respect for the teacher. On the other hand, a teacher who merely demands respect because he is in a more powerful position is trying the tactic of fear which may produce pseudo-respect but that's not worth anything in the end.