Communication Experiences: Nonverbal vs. Verbal

Communication Experiences: Nonverbal vs. Verbal

Can See What You're Thinking

Role as Employee

The communicative situation entails that I entered my employer's office in my capacity as employee. In terms of space, the office was arranged in a fixed manner, with the employer's desk and chair close to the far wall, and the visitor's chairs at a fixed distance from the desk. When I entered, the employer made eye contact with me, and both of us maintained this more or less during the whole meeting. This inspired confidence in me, and thus I spoke in an even, confident voice throughout, which in turn resulted in my employer giving me his undivided attention by listening actively. The between channel redundancy (BCR) was thus complete for both of us. The result was that the employer negotiated a raise that was slightly lower than I requested, but nonetheless satisfactory to me. The communication was thus successful, as both my employer and I as employee demonstrated a correlation between our verbal and nonverbal communication, in a situation where nonverbal cues are of utmost importance.

Another situation in my workplace, where I found the communication less than satisfactory, occurred between a coworker and myself. The colleague in question was in the habit of keeping me from my work by visiting and chatting to me frequently. This would occur during work hours, and at times when my workload was particularly heavy. I tried talking to the person about this, but she refused to change this habit. I thus decided to take the problem to management. When I entered the office, I was in an agitated state. This was communicated to my employer by my tendency to avoid his eyes, rapid breathing, as well as my generally agitated posture. I however tried to convey the message of the problem in a calm, clear manner. My BCR was therefore incomplete, since my posture and my words conveyed conflicting messages. This conflict was communicated to my employer, whose willingness to listen met with a barrier. Because of my incomplete BCR, my employer was feeling defensive, and thus unwilling to listen. While he did attempt to help me, his unwillingness in turn communicated itself to me in his repeated glances at his watch. The way in which he questioned me did not convey that he took the complaint in an entirely serious manner. The outcome was unsatisfactory: My employer recommended that I repeat my request for an end to this behavior to my coworker, and to return to him if the request was not met. I found this frustrating, since I have already asked the colleague to stop her behavior, with no result.

Role as Customer

As a customer, I visited a car dealer in order to acquire a new car. When I entered, I was immediately approached by a salesman, who briefly but firmly shook my hand and retreated to a social distance. This behavior made me feel at ease, and I felt free to describe exactly the kind of vehicle I was looking for. He listened attentively to my description, and waited until I had finished talking before responding. We maintained eye contact throughout this exchange. The salesman then showed me the range of what they had within my requirements, demonstrating the traits of each model. He accented these traits with explanatory hand gestures. The BCR for both myself as customer and the salesman was complete, and thus I feel that the exchange was successful.

Another exchange that I experienced in my capacity as customer was at a cell phone dealer. As above, I entered, and was approached by a young salesman. This person looked nervous, but nonetheless smiled as he introduced himself. He did not shake my hand, but rather invaded my personal space. I must add that the shop was fairly crowded, which did not help to either ease the salesman's nerves or improve my increasingly irritated disposition. I however tried to smile while attempting to express what it was I wanted. The salesman found it hard to stand still and listen, and instead kept finishing my sentences for me. He also kept looking for other potential customers while leading me to the range I was looking for. I communicated my irritation by replacing my smile with a grimace. My tone of voice also changed from friendly to abrupt and fairly irritated. These served only to increase the young man's agitation.

I was briefly shown a range of cell phones and left on my own to choose the one I want. I had to however do this without the benefit of a salesperson to help me make the best decision within my price range. The BCR for both the salesman and me was thus incomplete. The conflicting messages within the salesman included his agitation and glances at other customers while he was trying to be helpful to me. I on the other hand experienced increasing agitation, while trying to do business with the salesman.