Pseudoscientific Discovery or Product New

¶ … Pseudoscientific Discovery or Product

New Evidence of Aliens Discovered near Area 51! (Lincoln County, NV - May 20, 2008).

Local resident Seymour G. Pruett, 73, and his wife, Selma, 71, were driving their four-wheel drive vehicle alongside the road adjacent to the infamous Area 51 maintained by the U.S. government recently when they discovered what they believe to be incontrovertible proof of alien presence in the United States today. Mr. Pruett enthused, "We got it all right! We got it right there in the back seat and no 'gubmit' bureaucrat can tell us we've been out in the desert too long now!" Mr. Pruett pointed to an ancient camera in his backseat which he claimed contained actual pictures of aliens in the Area 51 region. "As soon as we get these pictures developed," Mrs. Pruett added, "we're gonna sell them to the National Inquirer and make a bundle!"

Road near Area 51 driven by the Pruetts [source: http://www.lazygranch.com/images/fg/longrd2.jpg.

The discovery by the Pruetts represents yet another brick in the wall for millions of people around the world that confirms that aliens exist and live amongst humans today. In this regard, the elder Pruett reported that, "I've been telling the local authorities around here for years that there were aliens but no one would believe me or the missus. I guess now they'll have to believe us!" His wife, Selma, added, "Seymour's right. We've seen aliens around here hundreds of times and when we report them, the police just laugh. We may be old, but we know what we have seen" (Argument from Age). Indeed, millions and millions of Americans firmly believe that aliens are real and the U.S. government is in cahoots with them and all of these people simply can't be wrong (Appeal to Widespread Belief). When asked about their most recent encounter with aliens, Selma cackled and responded, "An old saying around here says that, 'If enough people call you a horse, you'd better buy a saddle' and I guess they'll have to admit there are aliens here now" (Cliche Thinking).

Another local resident who claims to have seen aliens in the Area 51 region is F. Raud, 53. When asked about her experiences with aliens, Ms. Raud stated plainly that, "I didn't used to believe in aliens, but after what I've seen around here in recent years, I know they exist and many are living right here in our community" (Statement of Conversion). This Nevada resident is well-known in the area because her father was a prominent physician for a number of years as well as being an amateur astronomer. Ms. Raud emphasized that, "My daddy always said there were aliens around here and he used to look through his telescope all of the time" (Appeal to False Authority). In response to the reports of new evidence of aliens being discovered by the Pruetts, Lincoln County Sheriff Alexander M. Vague pointed out, "Those Pruetts are boozers from way back and wouldn't know an alien if one came up and bit them on their four-wheeler's bumper" (Ad Hominem).

When asked about their relationship with the county sheriff, the Pruetts were not surprised at Vague's comments, but insisted that the evidence they discovered was clear and suggested that the sheriff might be in on the whole conspiracy to keep information about aliens secret. Said Ms. Pruett, "That Vague has been sheriff for over 10 years and even though he hasn't caught a single alien, he keeps getting reelected. He must be in on the secret" (Bad Analogy). Mr. Pruett nodded in agreement and pointed out that, "We didn't have many alien sighting before Vague got elected sheriff but now we see them more and more. He's got to be part of it" (False Cause).

Attempts to gain access to Area 51 itself were unsuccessful, but this reporter managed to contact Airman James V. Fallacious at Nellis Air Force Base near Las Vegas who agreed to comment on the alleged recent discovery of alien presence by the Pruetts by way of answering the telephone. In response to the question, "Do you work for the Air Force and do you keep aliens on your base or know where they are?" (Complex Question), Airman Fallacious said, "Er, yes, but I mean no. I mean, I work for the Air Force but I don't know anything about aliens here or anywhere else." The airman's hesitant and confused response piqued this reporter's interest and a follow-up question was asked. "Since millions of Americans have seen lights in the night sky," the airman was asked, "you must therefore have a lot aliens at all of your air force bases, right?" (Non Sequitur). At this point, the airman hung up but not before this reporter heard him say to an unidentified federal official, "Answer your own damn phone next time, Bill," which confirmed the overwhelming suspicion that the U.S. government is hiding something about aliens (Argument by Selective Observation).