Journal

Day 1: Avoiding Conflict

During a team meeting at work, there was a heated debate about the direction of our new project when one of my colleagues suggested a strategy that I strongly disagreed with. However, instead of voicing my concerns, I chose to stay silent and avoided the conflict altogether.

The conflict style I used today is known as avoiding, and according to Hocker et al. (2022), the avoiding style involves sidestepping the conflict so as to not have to deal with it. It is like withdrawing from the field altogether. It could be considered weak in that there is a failure to engage in the issue altogether, but it could be used for different reasons, as in my caseI use it when the conflict seems trivial. However, I also use it when emotions are running high, or when there is little chance of achieving a positive outcome. That is why I used it on this day.

Still, avoiding the conflict felt ineffective because my silence meant that my valuable input was not being considered. Looking back, I think that the decision that was made may have long-term negative consequences and these could have been avoided if I had spoken up. I did not because I did not believe I would really be heard.

A more effective approach might have been the Learning Conversation technique from Stone et al. (2023), which involves creating a dialogue where everyone can share his or her viewpoints. It is a way for differing opinions to be heard and valued because it comes across as a learning conversation rather than as an argument. I could have expressed my concerns in a non-confrontational manner and perhaps contributed to a more balanced decision.

Day 2: Competing Conflict

In a discussion with my roommate about household chores, I found myself insisting that my method of organizing the kitchen was the best and should be followed. My roommate disagreed and preferred a different method.

So, today, I used the Competing conflict style. Hocker et al. (2022) describe competing as a power-oriented mode where a person pursues his own concerns at the expense of others. It involves assertiveness to achieve ones goals without regard for the other partys needs. I proceeded to organize the kitchen the way I saw fit. However, in the end, I did not achieve what I wanted, which was for my roommate to get on board. Thus, the competing style led to a stalemate. My roommate felt disrespected and became defensive, which just increased the tension. We both ended up feeling frustrated by the lack of compromise and the fact that the issue remained unresolved.

Hocker et al. (2022) recommend the "Collaborative" style as t focuses on finding a win-win solution that satisfies both parties concerns. It seems that when working together to understand each other's preferences, people can find genuine solutions. I think my roommate and I could have come up with a mutually agreeable method for organizing the kitchen if we had approached the problem with a little more mutual respect and consideration.

Day 3: Accommodating...

…pretty much uncooperative as the point is to be focused on winning the argument rather than resolving the conflict (Hocker et al., 2022). I saw pretty quickly that this approach was ineffective and caused more stress among my family members.

The Listening technique might have been more effective because by actually listening to understand the reasons behind differing views, I could have created a more respectful and appreciative and informed discussion (Stone et al., 2023).

Day 7: Avoiding Conflict

In a project meeting, a colleague made a suggestion that I believed was flawed. I didnt think it was worth it to make a confrontation, so I avoided addressing the issue during the meeting. Once again the conflict style here is Avoiding, which means backing out of the situation so that one does not have to deal with the conflict (Hocker et al., 2022).

Granted, avoiding the conflict did produce a temporary peace but it did not really solve the underlying issue. That will have to be addressed later. The project may suffer in the meantime due to the unaddressed concern. Worse than that, however, is the fact that my hesitation could affect my credibility in future discussions.

A better approach could have been the "Giving Bad News" (Stone et al., 2023). This technique involves giving another person a difficult message but in a way that is clear, direct, and compassionate. I could probably could have expressed my concerns constructively and helped to make sure the project would have the best possible outcome if I had delivered the bad…