"(Johnson, 139) Nevertheless, this only increases his feeling that he does not belong to his own race, and his sense that everything is a bitter irony. As the hero passes as a white man, he is forced many times to listen to unjust commentaries that are made against the black race and he realizes that he himself is ironically a disproof of these unfavorable remarks and an evidence that blackness does not render a man 'unfit': "The anomaly of my social position often appealed strongly to my sense of humor. I frequently smiled inwardly at some remark not altogether complimentary to people of color; and more than once I felt like declaiming, 'I am a colored man. Do I not disprove the theory that one drop of Negro blood renders a man unfit?'"(Johnson, 140)
Another impasse occurs when the hero wants to get married to a white woman and hesitates in telling his wife-to-be the truth about his racial origin. Eventually he does tell her and they get married, but his insecurity continues as he keeps questioning her feelings for him and whether she looks upon him as a 'colored man' whenever she detects a bad quality in him or a failure: "The few years of our married life were supremely happy, and, perhaps she was even happier than I; for after our marriage, in spite of all the wealth of her love which she lavished upon me, there came a new dread to haunt me, a dread which I cannot explain and which was unfounded, but one that never left me. I was in constant fear that she would discover in me some shortcoming which she would unconsciously attribute to my blood rather than to a failing of human nature."(Johnson, 149)
The conclusion of the book is thus that the hero's passing as a white man results only in frustration and loss of identity. While he becomes a successful and accomplished man, he realizes that he has pursued only a selfish ideal and has achieved nothing more than a personal status. Therefore, he has not succeeded in 'uplifting the race', because he has not gained recognition as a black man, but as a white one: "And it is this that all of that small but gallant band of colored men who are publicly fighting the cause of their race have behind them. Even those who oppose them know that these men have the eternal principles of right on their side, and they will be victors even though they should go down in defeat. Beside them I feel small and selfish. I am an ordinarily successful white man who has made a little money. They are men who are making history and a race. I, too, might have taken part in a work so glorious."(Johnson, 154) the hero awakens thus to the sense that what he has done was actually to sacrifice his own identity and his birthright, in favor of a few petty financial achievements, what he calls a 'mess of pottage': "...When I sometimes open a little box in which I still keep my fast yellowing manuscripts, the only tangible remnants of a vanished dream, a dead ambition, a sacrificed talent, I cannot repress the thought, that, after all, I have chosen the lesser part, that I have sold my birthright for a mess of pottage."(Johnson, 154) Thus, as critic Gayle Wald observes in his book Crossing the Line: Racial Passing in the Twentieth Century U.S. Literature and Culture, Johnson's Autobiography is an essential text for the theme of racial passing precisely because it gives a very realist description of the main character's failure to achieve racial self-assertion: "The Autobiography is frequently cited as a 'prototypical' modernist passing novel -- as the 'classic' twentieth-century text against which all are judged -- and yet as a work that centers on the failure of the nameless protagonist to live up to the standards of racial self-assertion associated with the heroic tradition, it also diverges from the narrative of racial 'homecoming' that more typically signifies the successful resolution of the passing plot."(Wald, 35-36) as Wald emphasizes, the hero fails to bring his own identity to a sense of closure and fulfillment, and he remains and unstable and frustrated subject throughout the book, who chose to renounce his own race in favor of a personal, minor achievement: "Rather than fulfill the ex-colored man's desire for closure, the autobiographical enterprise, usually associated with the narrative production of a stable self, accentuates the...
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