Tale of Two Stores
Non-verbal language is incredibly important in communicating with others, and so many people have no idea what they look and sound like when they communicate. If they did, it might change the way they interact with people, and how successful they are at whatever they do.
In this situation, I was interacting with a person at a grocery store. I was ordering some take-out food for dinner, and I wasn't sure what I wanted. It was incredibly clear the person behind the counter could have cared less about my questions. I felt myself getting irritated, but I tried to really think about what I was saying and worked at being pleasant, even when the clerk was not. I forced myself to smile, and continue asking questions about what was in the food and how it was cooked. I explained I have food allergies, and smiled again. I could see the clerk getting more irritated as another customer came to the counter behind me. She glanced at her watch, looked away, and leaned on the counter as she answered my questions.
I felt uncomfortable, even pushed by the clerk, who clearly just wanted me to leave so she could get to the next customer who wouldn't be such a "problem." I found myself saying, "Never mind, it's clear you're too busy. I'll go next door to XYZ." She rolled her eyes and didn't attempt to stop me. Of course, I won't be going back there for a while. I look back on the experience and realize that I did give non-verbal clues, but they weren't received by the clerk. I smiled, I pointed to the items I was interested in, I kept irritation out of my voice, and I keep a cheery note in my voice. Her reactions on the other hand were very negative. She stood with her hands crossed over her chest as I took up her time, made nervous gestures, looked at her watch, and walked from one end to the counter to the other. I felt she was not receiving my non-verbal (or verbal) communication, and it was like there was a wall between us. It was a frustrating experience.
References
Pappas, Jason. "A Tale of Two Stores." American Salesman 1 August 2003.
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