Socialization by the Book And the Bed
Sociologists define socialization as "the process by which, through contact with other human beings, one becomes a self-aware, knowledgeable human being, skilled in the ways of a given culture and environment." (Giddens, Duneier, & Appelbaum) There are many ways in which we socialization occurs. Interaction with parents, family, neighbors and community members, teachers and fellow students, and religious leaders all contribute to socialization. Other contributors may include cultural influences such as TV and other media, the influence of a child's native language, religious mores, and various racial, ethnic, or gender messages that arrive from various sources. While psychologists often focus on the influence of early life experiences (such as the relationship between the mother and the infant during breast-feeding and weaning) in socialization, many sociologists tend to focus on broader family and cultural issues.
Certainly for many people, especially those who attend daycare and public schools from a very early age, peers and educators may be the primary forces in their socialization. However, in most traditional families, and particularly in mine, the biggest sociological influence is indeed the family. In cases where the family is actively involved in the education of their children, their ability to control the socialization of their kids is further increased; this is both generally true and specifically obvious in my own experience of forming my personal identity.
Sociologists speak of a variety of levels of socialization. The earliest "primary" socialization almost always takes place within the family, and is the "most intense period of cultural learning." (Giddens, Duneier, & Appelbaum) One supposes this means that every person raised in a family could argue that their family had the biggest influence on their personal identity formation. However, I would argue that in my case this influence was particularly strong. Sociologists speak of a "secondary" socialization that proceeds later in childhood when the main agents of socialization are schools, peer groups, and other influences such as organizations and the media. Secondary socialization is where students learn what society expects in a social life. Schools where children interact with peer groups have more objective social relationships for children than do families, "The peer group exerts a most powerful social influence on the child. The peer group is composed of status equals... A child must earn his/her social position within the peer group; this position does not come naturally, as it does in the family. Interaction with a peer group loosens the child's bonds to the family; it provides both an alternative model for behavior and new social norms and values." (Kasper)
In my case, I remained home for much longer than most children, as I was home schooled for a period. My parents provided me with a family and an education, but in the process much of the time I would have spent in secondary socialization at school was instead spent being further socialized by my family.
My case proves that though socialization may generally occur in one fashion (moving from home to school as the child reaches the preschool or at least first grade ages), a person can still develop in other ways and be socialized and healthy. It is possible to learn about society by observing how parents and siblings interact with others outside the family, in addition to discovering it through intensive peer relationships. Of course, I was not totally isolated from secondary sources of civilization, and the experience of peer groups did eventually come into my life. There was some degree to which my awareness of how to navigate social situations was slightly retarded by being raised mainly among adults, but in many ways it was not that I was generally unable to relate to society, but simply that I tended to relate in a more mature fashion than many of my peers. While many sociologists are very invested in the importance of school and culture...
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