Enhancing self-confidence: strategies and psychological foundations

¶ … Self-Confidence

At present, I would say that my level of self-confidence is moderate. Sadly, I know some friends with extremely low self-esteem who feel as if they are not 'worthy' if they do not have a boyfriend, or who engage in extremely negative behaviors because they do not feel that trying hard is worthwhile. "What's the point?" they ask, whenever they are confronted with a life challenge. I am always trying to improve myself, whether it is working out at the gym or looking for a better job. However, I do have occasional crises of self-confidence, such as when I feel afraid speaking in public, asking for a raise, or challenging someone's opinion in class.

Select and describe six techniques to build self-confidence from the course textbook

Self-awareness is an important component of developing self-esteem. One important technique is starting slow: (1) score a few easy victories, before beginning a daunting task. For example, if prepping for a test, start with what you know rather than what you don't know. Run five miles before attempting to train for a marathon. People with high self-esteem often have had it bolstered from an early age onward. Giving one's self these early, positive victories starting in the 'here and now' is an important component of repairing a sense of negative self-esteem (DuBrin 2004: 86-87).

A second strategy is to (2) use positive self-talk. Everyone knows someone who is always putting him or herself down, seemingly fishing for compliments (DuBrin 2004: 86-87). Such negative self-talk can be defeating and also no amount of positive reinforcement from others can be enough to counteract the negative consequences of self-criticism. For example, when learning how to play tennis, it is sometimes tempting to say to one's self: "I was always bad in gym class, of course I'll never be able to have a good backhand." A more positive and empowering form of self-talk may be to say: "I can't get this just yet, but if I am patient and try my best, I will improve."

Self-esteem does not mean being soft on one's self. It requires the individual to take positive and proactive steps in the direction of self-improvement, rather than taking the easy way out of saying "I can't do this. That is why a person who has high self-esteem is (3) self-directing (DuBrin 2004: 86-87). He or she is always looking for ways to improve him or herself, rather than passively seeking approval from others. This also requires a person to have (4) a solid knowledge base, to ensure that he or she has real in-depth knowledge about a subject, rather than feels adrift and reliant upon others for understanding (DuBrin 2004: 86-87). Of course, no one can know everything. But by continually seeking out new knowledge and education, a person with self-esteem feels confident that he or she can always learn, as he or she has done this in the past.

A person with self-esteem does not exaggerate his or her abilities, but because he or she is always learning, the person has a legitimate reason to (5) develop and publicize new skills and be proud of his or her work. A person with high self-esteem is a (6) risk-taker (DuBrin 2004: 86-87). Nothing is more risky yet more fulfilling than learning something new.

Explain how they can help you strengthen your self-confidence

Self-acceptance of who I am right now gives me knowledge of where I want to go in the future. Self-esteem means being confident that my learning and personal investments will pay off, that I am truly 'worth it' in terms of the ventures I attempt. In all of the above-cited examples, education seems like the key to building self-esteem. Education shows a sense of personal confidence in one's ability to advance (and is reinforced by positive self-talk and building upon one's core skills).

Analyze how self-confidence can affect job performance and how inter-office relationships are affected by differing levels of self-confidence.

Everyone has been in an office setting where a 'bullying' boss has dominated his or her employees. The bosses' sense of self-aggrandizement causes him to subordinate the needs of his or her employees and even the company as a whole, to inflate his or her own ego. Belittling employees in public rather than discussing areas of improvement, and using insults and sarcasm creates a toxic work environment that does not promote productivity. "Verbal and passive forms of aggression, such as yelling, bullying, and humiliation, not only happen more frequently than active violence but can also be extremely damaging, contributing ultimately to workplace stress and target demoralization" (Burton & Hoobler 2006:1).