From the other side of the kitchen I observed my manager taking their orders. Another co-worker even started imitating the black customers by speaking in the type of slang they use and making the same kind of movements and gestures. I laughed at him because he was saying what I myself was thinking. And at the time I was relieved that I myself did not have to deal with them because I was tired and not in the mood to deal with what I considered to be their harassing behavior. But since then I have realized that it was my job to wait on them even if I did not want to because of the awkwardness I would feel doing so.
Both of these examples of prejudice included elements of what Ruchlis calls anti-locution and avoidance. And they both dealt with instances of groups. My group in the first story was what Ruchlis calls an "in-group," and the black group in the second story was my "out-group." Groups are often intimidating -- and that may have been one factor in the way the man in the shop reacted to my "in-group" and the way I reacted to the "out-group." People in numbers often feel more confident and out-going and expressive in their actions than when alone, so it is no surprise that group of young people of any ethnicity will act out boldly are make comments to another for a laugh or to show off. I did it when with my friends, and the black people did it amongst themselves.
What I learn from this is that just because you are with people of your own race and in a group does not mean you do not have to take into consideration the fact that others are around you. No one likes to feel intimidated, and people who are loud and in groups can often be intimidating.
Ruchlis also talks about self-fulfilling prophecies --...
For example, maybe if I had waited on the customers who came through the door instead of running in back to avoid them, I might have been able to see first hand that what I had presumed would be snickering comments made at my expense were really nothing like it all. But because I viewed them from a distance I was safe to keep my perception instead of seeing them as individuals and people like me. Maybe even if they had made a comment for a laugh, I might have born up well under it and showed that such behavior was unnecessary and not very gentlemanly. Why should I not show that they should behave in front of a lady? Maybe if I had waited on them they would have behaved anyway! Maybe they would have proven me wrong in my prejudice.
Ruchlis' example of Mr. Lang, who offered to pay for his students to attend college if they brought their grades up is a good lesson for those of us to tend to create self-fulfilling prophecies. By giving others a reason to behave better and by giving a good example ourselves, self-fulfilling prophecies can be counter-acted.
In conclusion, it is easy to slip into a state of prejudice, when you are in groups and when you are alone, when you are having fun with friends and when you are tired from work. One practical consequence of all this is that one should attempt to keep in mind that others who appear different from you are not necessarily so different on the inside -- they get tired just like you, they get easily offended, they get upset, they feel prejudice. By treating people the way you would like to be treated, a lot of ill-will can be avoided. That is one practical consequence I have learned.
