Lying is perhaps one of the most common wrongs we (virtually all of us) commit in the course of our life. It could even be true to say that it is human nature to tell lies. Consciously or unconsciously, we often lie to evade embarrassing or awkward situations, get out of trouble, and/or make other people feel better or intimidate them. Unfortunately, even though lying may be good or bad depending on the situation at hand, or depending on who you ask, we usually disregard the impact our lies can have on not only those lied to, but also us. Even the most trivial of lies can have severe unexpected consequences.As an individual, I regard myself as a straightforward and honest person. This is a value that I have emulated from my father since childhood. My father has always taught me the importance of candidness and truthfulness. I have used this principle as an important foundation of my life. Nonetheless, like virtually everyone else, I have told lies a couple of times -- whether a real lie or a white lie. In as much as I dislike and hate to admit it, I have lied to my parents, friends, partners, and colleagues.

One significant lie that I would like to reveal in this write-up is a lie that I told my current girlfriend sometimes back. It is one of those lies that if she knew the truth she would be so disappointed with me -- she would somehow feel betrayed. Like my father, my girlfriend is one of those people that treasure honesty -- she strongly believes in the "honesty is the best policy" adage. But who knows, maybe she has as well lied to me or someone else; after all, lies, especially from a close person, are packaged in a way that they appear as the truth -- the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

So, we started our relationship two years ago after meeting in a certain social event. I had been single for quite some time, and I was missing the warmth, completeness, and sense of belonging that comes with being in a romantic relationship. During the event, we happened to share the same table. She was funny, approachable, courteous, and had a great sense of humour; which really moved me. Those are the kind of girls that catch my attention. By the end of the event, we had exchanged contacts, and in a few weeks, we were officially in a relationship -- we appeared to complement each other in several ways.

Ever since the relationship started, everything has been going pretty fine save for the usual conflicts and misunderstandings that come with romantic relationships. Now, there is this one time during a date (about a year ago) a conversation about pornography...

I had never wanted us to have such a conversation as I have been watching porn and masturbating secretly since 9th grade. Even when am in a relationship, I have since loved having my time alone and having fun by myself. Those who are or have been there (of course most men have been caught up in this trap) clearly understand that the arousal and pleasure brought by adult entertainment and masturbation is usually irresistible and unstoppable. Adult entertainment adds both variety and spice in one's life, and is usually hard to stop when it becomes habitual. Believe you me I have tried severally, but it has never worked. I now live with it -- it is just part of me, whether I am in a relationship or not.
Like most girls I know, my girlfriend detests pornography. She never understands why men love it even when they have sexy and beautiful girlfriends or wives. She even once broke up with a guy after finding out he was addicted to it and used to do it without her knowledge. Certainly everyone in my situation would lie that they have never watched porn or masturbated. I assured her that it would even be unthinkable to do that with a beauty like her. She believed me; after all, am the most honest guy she has ever dated.

Though our relationship has been going on quite perfectly so far, I constantly live with the fear that one day she might catch me. Of course I often ensure my browser history is cleared after the entertainment. I also ensure I masturbate when the possibility of sexual contact with her in the next few days is extremely low. That way my sexual appetite remains intact when meeting with her. But one day she may know the truth. In fact, she has a number of times surprised me with a visit to my apartment immediately when am done with my stuff. At times, I even forget to clear my browser history. All the same, so far so good; but when the day comes, our relationship will definitely take a new course.

Reflection: Consequences of Lying

As an honest person, I strongly believe that lying is wrong, particularly when the one being lied to is entitled to the truth. I know lying can hurt people and break trust. In addition, when you lie you have to always maintain two versions of the story: the reality and the lie. In fact, one lives in a constant state of fear and anxiety, worried that their lie may become known someday. This is confirmed by the notion of cognitive dissonance, which explains the discomfort experienced when an individual holds two contradicting thoughts. The discomfort is even more when you think of the consequences…