Instead of using my body to communicate peace, calm, and a sense of self-confidence and self-worth, I did the opposite and mirrored her inhibition and slouching posture.
In the case of my supervisor, I felt uncomfortable because of the subject I was forced to address with him, and his general demeanor. With a work colleague, I generally try to be less animated, and more focused on the content of my speech. I try to be still when a supervisor is speaking, to show my absolute attention, even though my nervousness can sometimes betray me. Regarding my supervisor, I wish I could have been more cool, calm, and collected, and more focused and meaningful in my use of gestures, rather than scattered and nervous in terms of my eye contact and use of hand motions. Had I been more forceful, I think the difficult message I was attempting to communicate might have been more clearly conveyed.
What I discovered about myself
My first discovery was the discovery of the importance of 'mirroring' -- I often find myself mirroring others in their nonverbal posturing, especially intimates like my friend. If someone is uncomfortable, sometimes I find myself shifting around in my seat. In the case of my friend, I mirrored her lack of eye contact, which did not convey the sympathy I felt for her situation. In the case of my supervisor, his relatively undemonstrative manner made me less forceful than I should have been in punctuating my sentences with gestures that reinforced my message. Physical mirroring can be sympathetic, but it can also result in not conveying my unique and important message to the listener. Physical mirroring can make me seem too passive. I need to be conscious of the degree to which I am mirroring others, so I can more carefully control this behavior, if mirroring my listener's body language will impede my message.
My second discovery about my communication style was how formal gestures can...
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