It is what we know, because that which we understand from the experience of the vision quest finds no words to express it, and if we cannot express it, hear it said, we question and fear it. But we continue to long for the escape, to shed the body like the snake that sheds its skin.
We try to share our experience, the knowledge that nature has imparted upon us -- but it is difficult, and often times seems to fall upon deaf ears. But we cannot pace others, only ourselves, and we cannot make them hear what they resist; perhaps they just are not ready. Enlightenment through nature comes to people at their own pace through life. Often times, I think, it is later in life, when the noise of youth subsides. It is then, for some, that the distant mountain beckons us to our individual vision quest, and we can stand in the cold shade against the strength of the mountain wall, or we can move away from it, into the meadow and stand in the illumination of the light of the collective. For there are many who have gone before us, and this knowledge that we gain is knowledge that has been previously discovered by those who came and went before us -- by those who come and go after us. It is the collective, the light of all the souls, all the knowledge that exists in the universe. If we move away from the strength of the mountain wall to stand on our own, to draw upon our own strength, even if that strength is gained by the mountain, we can bask in the illumination of the collective light without the restraints of manmade barriers, and we can soar to the top of the mountain, and land safely on our feet in the warmth of the light. This was my vision quest, and the secrets of the mountain that were, I found, always with me, inside me, were revealed to me.
That I could not share them with my brother is not a sad thing. My brother must face his barriers, his barb wired fences, and he must choose to go under, over, around, or take the wire cutters and destroy them. These not choices that come to any one man or woman easily, and there is no set time through life's journey when one must make the decision to overcome the barriers of the mindset of prescribed ideologies and man's laws. Indeed, some never come to this time and place, this mountain, and it is perhaps in the next carnation that they will experience the illumination of the collective light of souls. Will that be my brother's path? At this time I cannot say, but I can say that I am grateful that he was with me as I experienced my own release and found the tranquility of the mysteries of the mountain.
Betsy Perluss (2007) writes of her vision quest:
"My experience in the desert wash left me a little perplexed. Did I really hear voices coming from the canyon? Or was I tricked by the sounds of the wind? Certainly, the way the wind moves along the rocks and planes could produce auditory sensations of all kinds (p. 219-220)."
It can indeed be a tricky experience. For me, I felt the existence of the collective spirit from which, I began to understand all intelligence emanates, exists in body, and returns to after it sheds the body. What we experience in the body, the learning, we take with us. We take the love too, when we shed the body of the flesh and return to the collective light. The light grows with the knowledge that we bring back to it, and the universe expands with it, and new worlds are born out of the ashes of death and destruction, and new mountains rise in those worlds and in our own world too.
My brother has not talked much of our walk through the mountain, and I do not intrude upon his innermost thoughts about it. I await patient his sharing of his experience, and it comes to me in bits in pieces. It is hard to be patient, because I am excited about all that I feel was revealed to me in coming to know the mountain. Did he gain strength from the mountain, or did he just touch the mountain wall only to find that it was hard, and resisting of his body? Did it weaken him in the way that it strengthened me? He says he liked the crisp cold mountain air, even though we were at a high altitude and it left him a little breathless....
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