¶ … Marital Success
The high divorce rates in First World nations have encouraged researchers, family counselors, and religious advocates to investigate the core foundations for the creation of a successful marriage. Starting in the 1960s, evolving social context ultimately shifted the rationale in why individuals choose to marry, and over time, divorce has come to be viewed as the preferred alternative to an unhappy marriage. One main fundamental principle to achieve marital success is to recognize women desire love, while men simultaneously need respect to feel fulfilled within the relationship. Emotional intelligence within a relationship and acknowledging various marital myths also contribute to the fundamental elements of marital success. Dissociating from marital myths and misconceptions is an essential part to understanding the true foundations for a happy and successful marriage. Appreciating and understanding how attachment styles affect marital relationships is also essential. These beliefs and attachment styles contribute to the marital bond and what each person expects from the marriage. Creating a foundation for marital success is a multifaceted and multidimensional process that requires both husband and wife to explore love, respect, effective communication, attachment styles, and willingness to address central causes of conflict.
Foundations for Marital Success
The high divorce rates in First World nations have compelled family researchers, counseling professionals, and religious advocates to question the foundations for true marital success. In the United States alone, the divorce rate fluctuates between 50% and 67% of all married couples (Gottman, 1993). This statistic speaks to the prevalence of divorce and the basic needs for married couples to understand and employ the tools needed for a successful marriage. Modern marriage has redefined why individuals choose to marry and choose to divorce. Fears of entering a marriage to only exit in divorce has troubled brides and grooms to the point where superstitious practices have become common practice prior to one's wedding day. Superstition and folklore aside, one of the key elements for marital success is accepting "Love isn't all you need." Although men and women both feel love, the expectations for love are different between the sexes within the context of marriage. The female priority is to feel loved, while the male priority is to feel respected (Eggerichs, 2004).
An additional construct describing a successful marriage has been coined as an "emotionally intelligent marriage." Put simply, an emotionally intelligent marriage is a dynamic in which negative thoughts about one's spouse are kept from overwhelming positive feelings (Gottman, & Silver, 1999). Being able to disassociate from myths and misconceptions about marriage and identify with core conflict issues also contribute to marital success. For example, personality problems and screaming matches do not ruin a marriage (Gottman, & Silver, 1999). Couples must also be able to engage in active listening to access positive means to solve problems. Once married, the husband and wife each bring their respective attachment styles and beliefs in to the relationship. These beliefs and attachment styles contribute to the marital bond and what each person expects from the marital relationship. Marriage represents a personal and complex connection with another individual that requires love, respect, emotional intelligence, and understanding of attachment as the foundations of marital success.
In the latter half of the 20th century, social roles between men and women started to evolve, and consequently marriage is held in a difference regard than it was a half century ago. Women entered the workforce, which afforded them means for financial independence. The financial independence of both men and women ultimately altered one major perceived benefit of marriage: security. Since the 1960s, adults are waiting longer to marry, are more likely to have children out of wedlock, less likely to disapprove of premarital or nonmarital sex, and are more likely to divorce (Taylor et al., 2007, p. 25). Despite this evidence, 9 out of 10 adults in the U.S. will eventually marry (Taylor et al., 2007, p. 25). The majority of adults will still marry, yet over half of these unions will end in divorce. Over recent decades, the younger marriage population is less likely to view marriage in an unbreakable, religious context, and instead considers marriage to be an expression of love and happiness (Taylor et al., 2007, p. 25-27). This change in standard has subsequently made divorce a preference over an unhappy marriage. Studies indicate that Americans believe mom-and-dad homes are...
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Predicting Marital Success or Failure Climbing divorce rates and the redefining of traditional relationships in the latter half of the twentieth century have put a spotlight on the ideal of marriage. Adjusting gender roles, greater disposable income, globalization, and the acceleration of technology and social change have contributed to the way individuals engage in relationships, and consequently marriage. The increase in divorce rates has provoked researchers and marriage counselors to
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There is a typical decline in the standard of living of mother-headed families, for children of divorce, that often pushes them below the poverty level. A number of developmental problem, in children, are associated with a lack of economic resources. A child's nutrition and health may be negatively affected by economic hardship. Educational items such as: private lessons, educational toys, computers, and books are also often difficult for single-parent
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