For instance, in Descartes' The Passions of the Soul, his "moral concerns lead him to describe the passion of love as altruistic and involving self-sacrifice [but] his general account of passions, however, suggests that all passions (including love) spring from and promote self-interest," leading to a seeming contradiction and debate that ultimately only serves to reinforce outdated notions of love (Frierson 314). This kind of debate around love has allowed different groups, with religions foremost among them, to use love as a means of controlling the populace and their interpersonal lives.
By suggesting that love requires self-sacrifice, one may use another's love in order to get them to do things that they would normally reject outright, and by simultaneously claiming that love stems from some sort of nearly-uncontrollable passion, one may use love as a means of shaming individuals. By describing love solely as the emotions felt and the chemical processes that make up those emotions, one is able to sidestep these moralizing arguments such that one can describe and discuss love without making any claims as to what should be considered "legitimate" or "true" love. The current debate in the United States regarding the legalization of gay marriage stems from this problem, because the underlying argument against gay marriage is that love between two people of the same sex is somehow less legitimate that love between one male and one female. With the stricter definition proposed here, this debate is rendered moot, because the only people who define the legitimacy of the love they feel are the couple in question, and it is left entirely up to them whether they would like to participate in a traditional marking of that experience, just as those ostensibly heterosexual people who go through a starter marriage may choose whether or not they would like to participate in that same tradition.
Though somewhat less prevalent of an issue when describing love, one final thing must be added in regards to the definition of love proposed here. Because it depends solely on the emotional and physiological experience of an individual, and it does not make any judgements regarding the possible legitimacy or illegitimacy of that feeling of love, the definition of love proposed here must necessarily include those instances of attraction which many would rather not be included, such as the feelings a pedophile might propose to have for child,...
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