Lament for a Son: Christian Grief There are few human experiences as all-encompassing in their horror as the loss of a child. It feels unnatural for a child to die before a parent. The "natural" order of things is that the parents raise the children, se them on their way, and die, making way for the new generation to make its own mark on the world. When a child dies, especially at an age as young as 25, the entire world is ripped from the remaining parents, who must suddenly live not only with the greatest loss a person could experience, but also with the unexpected nature of that loss. This is the case with Dr. Nicholas Wolterstorff, author of Lament for a Son, a book written in dedication to his son who died at the age of 25 after a mountain climbing accident. What makes Dr. Wolterstorff's book unusual is the fact that he not only expresses the magnitude of his grief and loss in an honest and visceral way. He also does this in a way that honors and glorifies his faith in a God who allows such things to happen. It is in this faith that the author rediscovers his capacity for joy and fulfillment in the midst of almost impossible psychological and emotional pain. Hence, in his journey through the five stages of grief, Dr. Wolterstorff uses his faith to navigate through the initial denial, anger, depression, and bargaining, and also to achieve the final stage of acceptance.

David Kessler and Elisabeth Kubler-Ross have identified five basic stages of grief, of which the final...

The most important element of acceptance is something few who have not themselves been through the grieving process understand. Acceptance does not mean that grief is over. It does not mean that the bereaved is no longer aware of the loss. It simply means that the pain is less sharp, less visceral, and less all-encompassing. The grief remains, but it remains in a way that allows the bereaved to move on with life, carrying the beauty and love of the life that has been lost within their hearts. This is the central message of Dr. Wolterstorff's book (Schroden, 2007). Through his faith in God, the author was able to work through the initial shock, the anger, the incomprehensibility, and the loss to find his way back to a joyful celebration not only of his faith, but also of the love he will hold for his son until the end of his own life.
Like any parent, Wolterstorff's first reaction to his son's death was a sense of denial and incomprehension. As a man of faith, Nicholas Wolterstorff was filled with questions when his son died. Most of all, he asked the question that all who have lost a loved one tend to ask: Why? After the initial shock and denial, this denotes a sense of anger (Schroden, 2007). Like all parents who have ever lost a child, the author muses that "He was meant to bury me!" (Wolterstorff, p. 16). It is not outright anger, however, but more a sense of confusion. The author cannot understand why God would allow his son to die. He even goes so far as…