Since I have been reading more scholarly work, I have noticed a vast improvement in the way I write my papers. My grades have improved as a result. Writing term papers is not as taxing as it was before and the writing seems to flow faster than it used to when I first started writing a lot of formal essays.
Still, I prefer to write for myself. When I use my journal I feel like I am taking time for myself to reflect on my feelings. Otherwise, I might not have any way of learning about myself. I do not chat to my friends a lot about how I feel and writing is a therapeutic outlet for me. Eventually I would like to infuse my academic writing with the personal tone that comes through in my journal writing, if a personal tone is appropriate for the assignment. Otherwise, I will need to improve my formal writing skills for when I need to take myself out of the essay.
Blending the best of my journaling and my intellectual skills is the aspect I need to focus on most as I seek to improve my writing. It will take some time, as I get used to the rigors of academia. I might need to take some writing classes if it helps me to see where I go wrong in what I compose for class. Receiving feedback is probably the only way I will understand the bad writing habits I have and to adopt good ones. Reading more will also help me...
Whether with notebook and pen or on my computer, writing is a convenient outlet. Like a means to think out loud, writing allows me personal space to develop my ideas. I feel safe when I write mainly because I trust no one will read what I say. When I know that my words are being read my entire outlook changes. I become more self-conscious. I censor my words and delete whole sentences. Fearing criticism, I probably write worse when I control myself but I have not learned how to confidently express myself. If I keep my audience in mind as I am told to do, I cannot help but imagine that whoever reads my work is cringing at every word.
Over time I might get over the feeling that my writing is not good enough. Until then I will continue to exercise my skills in my journal and when I have to for school. I would like to be able to enjoy academic writing as much as I enjoy writing for personal reasons. Most people I know are like me or worse, they can't stand writing for themselves. Keeping a journal has been a means to keep myself on track so I can exercise the cognitive muscles that I will need for the rest of my life. I intend to become a better academic writer, even if it means keeping up my journaling or writing poetry no one will ever read.
