Joanna Ramos, a Fifth Grader

Joanna Ramos, a fifth grader at Willard Elementary School in Long Beach, California died last month whilst getting into a fight with another girl over a boy. No weapons were used and no one was knocked to the ground, but the girl complained of a headache shortly after, was rushed to the hospital and died.

"She was so nice to me; she was like a sister to me," said classmate Stephanie Soltero, crying. "They were fighting over a boy, just for a boy. it's just stupid."

Commented Long Beach Mayor Bob Foster: "It's hard to understand how this can happen. If you're like me, you're also thinking of your own children, perhaps your daughter or your granddaughter, and you get a sense of how precious life really is," (ABC News.(Feb 26, 2012 ) )

The problem is that teens and pre-teens lack this impression of mortality of life feeling that life goes on forever.

This was apparently, too, not the first time that this type of bullying occurred in the school. Another paper reported that teachers were planning to talk to the girls about the problem and that the superintendent "said letters would go out to parents immediately, and that counselors would be provided when students return to class today" (Menzer, 2012 )

More steps, however, need to be taken so that these and similar problems do not occur in the future.

Our nation has evidenced a spate of teen-age shooting on schools and campuses throughout the country that simply continues. Cuber bullying is in full force, and lax morals are evident through most public school throughout the country. The question is what to do about it and how to provide teens with the necessary guidance and discipline so as to prevent such problems from occurring.

The first thing for parents / teachers / social workers and anyone else involved in pre-teen guidance is to understand that they are approaching a climactic turn in their lives with all the changes that puberty ordinarily brings.

People often focus on teens, but pre-teens can have it even more challenging. Aside from having to adjust to middle school with all its difference, pre-teens also experience a plethora of physical and emotional changes. Their bodies are beginning to change, and thrust in the bewildering world that they are they have to make sense of conflicting messages and confusion that hits them. Wanting to see the world in black and white, many children are now faced with a multiplicity of messages and, more so, the world is not as stable and secure as they originally thought.

Love and trust from parents and teachers are essential. Many children coming from the most conflicted and poorest of environments have later related that it was their parent's belief in themselves and support that helped them stay strong and survive. Not all, however, receive this resource.

Pre-teens need someone to guide then through puberty, explain the aspects of their changing bodies to them, as well as the social and sexual changes that are taking place.

Someone like Ramos, for instance, would have benefited from a class discussion, moderated by a professional, that would have explained to the girls the reason for their attraction to boys and how to deal with the pressure that surrounds such an issue. The teacher may have warned about bullying and other issues that may arise, as well as providing the students with basic sexual education and how to guard themselves in these events. Such classes could be structured separately to boys and girls each addressing the population in a particular manner targeted to audience's needs.

Parents and teachers should keep 'channel's open with pre-teens so that pre-teens know that they always have a place to go to discuss their problems. Pre-teens will inevitably get into trouble but understanding and non-judgmental adults can minimize this trouble by frequently chatting with their preteen about life, about their problems in school, and about what may be bothering them (O'Donnle, About.com ).

The University of Alabama Parenting Assistance line (PAL) recommends practicing the 3 W's namely knowing at all times "where your children are, know what they are doing, and who they are with! "

All children -- as do all people -- like and need structure and need consequences for violating and adhering to structure. Pre-teens and teens are no different. Pre-teens should be given a clear set of rules as well as consequences for violating those rules. Pre-Teens, in fact, may be involved in creating these rules. They are more likely to follow them if they are involved.

Effective rules need clear limits and clearly communicating these limits. Adults should specify details of more appropriate behavior and why this behavior is more advantageous for kids Adults should give cues for the new behavior, provide teens with choices in practicing this behavior, and guide them in adapting to requirements. All new habits, they should be told, may be challenging in the beginning, but with time and support, as well as motivation (and set backs), habits may be mastered. Kids should be helped to see the benefits of these new habits and helped to master them. Most important, necessary changes should be done in their environment so that their environment helps them effect change. A challenging peer pressure society or school that is educationally poor and lacking in discipline may be more of a setback than a help to teens attempting to make positive change in their lives.

Adults can use positive helpful strategies such as redirection, active listening, I-messages, conflict resolution, and recognizing and dealing with strong emotions.

Pre-teens are on the cusp of adolescence. They will be dealing with an adult world where conflicts are the norm. Giving them the tools to deal with the conflict in a savvy, adult-like manner, articulating their emotions rather than fighting them aggressively will preempt much of the bullying and aggression that seems to be the norm in contemporary American schools and college campuses. Giving them these tools now can also help them greatly later on in life.