Should his wife than take either part- or full-time work to compensate for this, the male idea of self-reliance and care for others may be affected negatively. Conversely, a woman who is required to offer her own resources to help make ends meet for the couple may resent not being able to rely on her husband as she is used to. From both sides, this could create stress and the possible end of the marriage.
Another stress factor can be age-related illness, creating a marriage condition in which one partner needs to become the other's carer rather than equal partner. This also creates a change in the relationship dynamic that can cause considerable stress and/or resentment for both partners. The caring partner, for example, can experience unwanted feelings of disgust for the incapacitated partner or emotional and physical fatigue as a result of the caring role. The ill partner, in turn, can experience feelings of self-loathing for a being a burden on the loved one.
Even without undue stress as a result of the above conditions, the marriage relationship necessarily changes as people change over he years. Research has shown that the most highly satisfactory time within the marriage is just after marriage and within the retirement years (Hollis-Sawyer, personal communication, 2013). In-between these two eras, the couple's lives are subjected to career stress and child rearing concerns. Just after marriage and after retirement, these stressors are no longer a concern within the relationship. Couples whose relationships do survive career and child rearing stress tend to become closer after retirement.
One major change in a close marriage relationship is when one marriage partner passes away. While it has been unusual in the past and remains somewhat so now, some remaining partners do choose to remarry. The factor of increasing human life expectancy has created a gradual change in this dynamic, where many partners who are left behind after a loss cannot face years and possible decades of loneliness. They would then choose to remarry (Hollis-Sawyer, personal communication, 2013).
Another interesting dynamic of intimate relationships, especially in modern times, is that they are not necessarily exclusive to marriage, even in later life (Chapter 3: Intimate Ties in Later Life, p. 54). The changing social position on intimacy today has created a dynamic among older single people, as it has among their younger counterparts. Dating may include intimate, sexual relationships, without being preceded by marriage. Indeed, marriage may or may not be part of such relationships at all. Again, this is somewhat less usual among aging people than the younger generations, but like remarriage, these are on the increase.
Another new trend is the tolerance for gay and sexual relationships. This has also created a platform for older people to be more honest about their sexuality and enter into relationships that are satisfying and available to them (Chapter 3, Intimate Ties in Later Life, p. 55). Some couples choose not to marry at all, but simply to live together in a long-term committed relationship. This occurs within both heterosexual and homosexual relationships.
Sexual activity also changes over the years, especially for couples who have been together in a long-term relationship. There is a general decline in this part of intimate relationships. Nevertheless, this does not mean it stops entirely. One major factor that impacts the possibility of sex in older age is the lack of access to a partner, such as after death or divorce. Further, the social and practical constraints of communal care often makes it difficult to engage in sexual relations, even when both marriage partners are still alive, together, and retain a certain appetite for intimacy.
Looking more closely at the dynamic of losing a partner, a myriad of feelings may be encountered after such a loss. According to Roy and Russell (2006), the void left by the loss could create a tendency to look for new intimate relationships to fill it. The new experience of such a relationship could also include a new and freer attitude toward dating and sex. Since there are no longer parental or social constraints regarding how far dating should go, it is usually the older person's responsibility to determine the set of values he or she will use when engaging in dating and new relationship activities.
Not everybody can, however, engage in a completely new mode of intimacy after years of marriage to one person. Some, for example,...
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