¶ … Children cope with Divorce
In today's world, people are increasingly becoming independent as well as less compromising. There was a time when people used to value marriage, children and were understanding towards each other and had the capacity to work their differences in order to live together in harmony and peace. The case today is quite the opposite. We see a hike in the statistics of divorce and separations for various reasons.
People tend to argue that women are now more independent and do not need a man to complete them. This may be so but this freedom is definitely making them more focused on themselves which sometimes leads to a stubborn, uptight attitude and leads to a divorce. Men on the other hand, tend to still have those dominating attitudes where they want to be the head of the household and can simply not tolerate any interference towards that department. In a nutshell, everyone is becoming self absorbed and society just does not lay that big an emphasis on staying together and making the marriage work. It is also easier to seek a divorce now and remarry or even stay single because there is fewer stigmas attached and there is more acceptances received towards the divorced status now. (Hetherington)
But let's look beyond the two individuals involved in the marriage and consider the wider implications of the broken marriage. It may be accepted that the husband and wife might outlive and accept the end of the marriage because they were the ones who made the choices but in this whole scenario, the deepest impact is that on the children. They might not show what they go through but the broken marriage impacts them in ways that cannot be comprehended on the surface. It is essential for the parents to realize these and help the children cope up with this new change in their life.
For many years now, studies and researches have been conducted which seek to analyze the differences that come about in the attitudes of children that are brought up in broken families and they tend to be the children who need the most attention. The first and foremost step that parents need to take when helping the child cope up with the idea of their parents divorcing is to let them know that they are still important and that none of the decisions leave them out. It is noticed that when the children feel like they are not getting the attention they want, they act out in a variety of ways by throwing tantrums, getting themselves into trouble so that they are noticed. Some children might just isolate themselves and feel like no one loves them and get lost in their own little world.
However, both the sides are equally bad and it is important not to let the children feel left out. They need to be wanted, paid attention to and be cared for. When a divorce takes place, it is sometimes common that the child feels completely confused who to ask for at what time. The parents might tell the child to ask the other parent for permission or to be supportive or look after them which is the worst thing that one can do. It is important to realize that both the parents are irreplaceable and the child seeks a separate kind of attention, love and devotion from the two individuals. The idea is to make the child feel that both of them are there for the child whenever he or she needs them. Despite the divorce, the child still needs both the parents and thus, it is essential that the two devote their respective time for the children and do something together as well such as attending parent teacher conferences, going to any games or extracurricular activities that the child participates in and so on. If one of them goes and the other doesn't, the child feel like the world revolves around the parents and they cannot ignore their differences for the child. Thus, this is one essential step for both the parents to show their concern towards the child (Kelly).
Along with the need to tell the child that both the parents are concerned, they also need to ask the child questions and build a close relationship with him or her in order for the child to trust them to be there in times of happiness and in need. As the child grows and reaches the teenage, it gets more difficult and the changes might cause...
Divorce on Children Children of divorce can be negatively impacted by the separation of parents and the concomitant stress associated with the parents' relationship. These negative effects can range from mild cases to extreme, and can differ according to gender and age (i.e., development level of the child). External factors also play a part in the degree of the effect of the divorce, such as socioeconomic conditions of the family,
Divorce is one of the bitter truths of life and is taking place in innumerable families worldwide. It can prove to be an upsetting experience for the parents. However, both the parties should think of their children before taking any decision as divorce affects the lives of the children in a real bad way. These days, it is totally impossible for people to ignore the substantial and extensive consequences of
Figure 1 portrays three of the scenes 20/20 presented March 15, 2010. Figure 1: Heather, Rachel, and Unnamed Girl in 20/20 Program (adapted from Stossel, 2010). Statement of the Problem For any individual, the death of a family member, friend, parent or sibling may often be overwhelming. For adolescents, the death of person close to them may prove much more traumatic as it can disrupt adolescent development. Diana Mahoney (2008), with the
Among the factors which this article elucidates are necessary to be considered, Hetherington et al. indicate that "the long-term effects are related more to the child's developmental status, sex, and temperament; the qualities of the home and parenting environments; and to the resources and support systems available to the parents and child than they are to divorce or remarriage per se." (Hetherington et al., 303) From a clinical treatment perspective,
Few people would say that divorce helps children except in cases of abuse. Divorce can create tremendous confusion in children of any age. One of the keys to preventing psychological, behavioral, or social problems is honesty. A non-profit group called Health Guide offers advice for parents going through a divorce. The organization recommends honesty and communication as keys to helping children cope and preventing mental or behavioral health problems.
Divorce is a traumatic experience for a child under any circumstances. They were certainly so in mine, in which several intervening factors complicated the ability to develop effective psychological coping mechanisms. I was nine years old when my parents got divorced. The divorce was not due to mutual consent or irreconcilable differences but the fact that my mother had an affair with my father's best friend, subsequently leaving the country.
Our semester plans gives you unlimited, unrestricted access to our entire library of resources —writing tools, guides, example essays, tutorials, class notes, and more.
Get Started Now