¶ … Technology With Regards to Dating Academic Institution

Dating is an activity typically used by people to choose potential romantic partners and to initiate the process of finding a mate (Strong & Cohen, 2013). The process of dating has undergone many changes through the course of history; however, technological innovations have dramatically altered the process. This paper will discuss how technology has influenced the dating process in both positive and negative ways. First the concept of dating is defined and explored followed by a discussion of how the dating process has been altered by technological changes.

Dating

The term dating has several meanings but typically refers to a meeting of two individuals with the goal of engaging in some form of mutually agreed-upon social activity (Strong & Cohen, 2013). Thus, dating is most often considered to be an activity that is part of the mating or selection process in humans where two potential partners meet socially to become better acquainted. This meeting is typically considered to be a date if it is performed with the understanding that the meeting is undertaken to extend the relationship beyond the mere friendship level and/or if the activity is embarked on with the goal of attempting to assess the other person's suitability for a romantic -- type relationship (Strong & Cohen, 2013). The term dating can be applied to an exclusive one-on-one relationship or to an individual who is seeing multiple potential partners with the aim of developing a romantic relationship, intimate relationship, or other similar type of relationship with one or more of these partners (Slater, 2013).

The practices and protocols associated with the dating process have considerable variance in them from country to country and even from generation to generation or group to group within the same country (Slater, 2013). The most common theme in the dating process is that of two individuals exploring whether or not they are compatible for a romantic relationship by engaging in public activities such as dining, dancing, seeing a film, etc. In many countries this activity is often viewed as a period of courtship and sometimes used as a precursor to becoming engaged or married or as a precursor to a more serious exclusive romantic type relationship or intimate relationship (Slater, 2013). Because the process of dating has been widely accepted in Western countries like the United States and many European countries is taken on a rather ritualistic appearance (Strong & Cohen, 2013). Every culture has particular patterns that generally indicate where people might meet, whether the man asks the woman or out first or vice versa, who pays for the expenses, whether kissing is allowed or not on the first day, and so forth (Slater, 2013).

Before the advent of cultural and technological innovations such as urbanization, mechanized transportation, computer technology, etc. most people were limited by demographics in finding potential dating partners (Couch & Liamputtong, 2008). Up until very recently most married couples had initially lived within a relatively close distance of each other and dated prior to their marriage; however, technology has allowed people who would otherwise never be in contact with one another to become acquainted with one another and take steps towards a relationship. In the past people met others through school, work, church, via friends, or at other social functions and gathering places such as bars. Modern technological advances such as the Internet, smart phones, and social media have significantly altered the traditional dating patterns within countries such as the United States (Couch & Liamputtong, 2008).

How Technology has Influenced Dating

The first and possibly the biggest influence of technology on the dating process is that it is much easier to find someone new now than it has ever been before (Slater, 2013). Social media, Internet dating sites, services such as Skype, the wide availability of smart phones, etc. have made it possible or individuals to communicate with people who prior to these technological advances they would have never had an opportunity to meet. The widespread use of social media has a defined the term friend from meaning a close, personal "in the flesh" relationship to a relationship where two people may have never actually met physically, but nonetheless are able to communicate quite intimately via the Internet, social media, smart phones, etc. (Slater, 2013). Services such as Skype and Twitter allow people to engage in more than text conversations and the use of smart phones allows individuals to communicate with one another at virtually any time of the day anywhere.

The downside to having access to this expanded pool of potential dating/romantic partners is that it can potentially result in a type of partner shopping where an individual communicates and perhaps even dates one or more other people but is not committed to maintaining any type of long-term relationship with that person. Instead, the individual is always on the lookout to find someone better and maintains their current dating relationship/relationships for convenience until they find someone else (Morey, Gentzler, Creasy, Oberhauser, & Westerman, 2013; Slater, 2013). Thus, while this may actually improve the quantity of dating partners a person has it may result in a negative effect on the potential quality of the relationships that people experience. One person may be invested in developing a relationship, while the other is not. In fact if this increased pool of potential partners was an advantage that would produce more quality or compatible potential relationships one could expect to see a decline in overall divorce rates, since dating is still viewed as a stepping stone to a more permanent relationship; however, this has not been the case (see Brown & Lin, 2012; McDermott, Fowler, & Christakis, 2013). Therefore it appears that the increase in the potential pool of available dating partners and the increase in the availability of communication with these potential dating partners may foster an increase in the quantity of potential dating partners a person has, but not in an increase in the overall quality of relationships that people experience.
In fact, before the Internet revolution in 1980 only seven percent of singles in the U.S. were divorcees, whereas in 2009 this percentage doubled such that 15.6% of singles were divorcees (Brown & Lin, 2012; McDermott et al., 2013). Some have suggested that technological changes influencing the dating process are at least partially responsible for a rise in divorce rates in recent years and a higher percentage of people who are not getting remarried following a divorce (Brown & Lin, 2012).

Moreover technological innovations have resulted in infidelity becoming easier for many people in relationships and there is the potential for less accuracy to be reported in Internet dating profiles (Slater, 2013). Many individuals simply make up a persona and lie about their marital status or their relationship status. Some researchers have reported that only a very small percentage of the profiles on dating sites are fully accurate (Nelson, 2012; Slater, 2013). It is not uncommon for people to lie about their relationship status, post pictures that are not current, not be forthcoming about their work status, etc. Casual relationships are much easier to find as a result of Internet dating services and this may result in a lowered overall quality of relationships as well (Slater, 2013).

The increased ease of meeting people as a result of new technology such as the Internet and social media has also resulted in the potential for individuals to be taken advantage of in other ways (Nelson, 2012). People looking for potential friends/dating partners are being scammed out of money or other valuables at an increased rate and of course the potential for acts of violence, rape, etc. are also enhanced as a result of the increased pool of potential contacts one can make via the use of technology (Nelson, 2012). Moreover, even people with good intentions may find themselves expecting too much from these services.

There is the potential when using social media and Internet dating sites for individuals to engage in a form of psychological projection (Mischel, 2013) on individuals that they meet. What this means is that an individual conversing with someone on an Internet dating site or social media site will tend to attribute the type of positive aspects that they desire in a person to people they meet on these venues with very little actual evidence that these people possess these attributes. Thus, in the early stages of contact there is a potential to develop a false, fantasized, viewpoint of a person because there is actually no real physical contact and one cannot gather all of the types of evidence/information needed to make a real judgment about the person (Yurchisin, Watchravesringkan, & McCabe, 2005). However, increased access to information can also be a protective factor against being taken advantage of.

For those individuals who are a bit more cautious in their approach new technology…