169). Therefore, given the tight-knit quality of most marital relationships, anything short of absolute forgiveness will inevitably result in harbored resentment, anger and hostility. Some types of offenses are not easily forgiven, of course, and marital infidelity certainly ranks among them, but negative reactions in response to even the most egregious offenses can be forgiven if certain conditions are satisfied. For example, Welton and his associates cite the need for empathy in resolving marital conflicts and report that an individual's level of empathy is a predictor of their ability to forgive. Another attribute, "perspective taking," is similar to empathy but differs in that, "Perspective taking is a cognitive process that involves the imaginative ability to put one's self in the place of another," an attribute that "has long been viewed as critical for effective social interaction" (Welton et al., 2008, p. 169). Irrespective of their current status, Welton et al. (2008) determined that even grievously aggrieved spouses were capable of forgiveness,...
Offenses that were deemed threatening were harder to forgive than unthreatening offenses, and that it is possible to replace negative emotions with other emotions but still not forgive the offender. Finally, these researchers determined that the higher the level of empathy, the more likely an offended spouse was to forgive. According to Welton and his associates, "Empathy had a consistent correlation with forgiveness. The ability to share the affective perspective of the other party was associated with the ability to forgive, regardless of the measurement method" (p. 170). These findings suggest that some people are "hard-wired" to forgive, while others may not be constitutionally capable of making the mental and emotional leap that is needed to forgive, which is not to say forget.
Forgiveness and Personality The impact that personality has on the ability to forgive has been a topic of much debate for many years. Many experts believe that certain personality traits can make an individual more susceptible to forgiveness. The purpose of this discussion is to examine whether or not any personality seems to be more forgiving of self and others than other personalities. The investigation will also explore the type of
Expressions of the Word living with us, such as that in Luke 23: 34 nourish one's spirit. Jesus' prayer for forgiveness for those who crucified Him mirrors sustenance that fuels healing and love. In His death, Jesus models the way God does things; the way He shows his love; His forgiveness. Grace, God's unmerited favor, extends not only to those who crucified Him centuries ago; it forgives those today
There are situations where the individual does not feel forgiving at any level and where the only real result of any decision or process would lead only to repression of true feelings. Instead of the author's formulation, I would propose that, subject only to the requirement that the individual actually has a genuine desire to forgive, the road to forgiveness can be through a decision, or through a process, or
In your own words, explain the concept of mediation and demonstrate the role a mediator plays in conflict management. In the given scenario above, evaluate and discuss whether a third party should intervene. Explain your response. Mediation calls for an objective third party to provide a reasonable perspective, a controlling influence and a sense of compromise to an otherwise rancorous situation. With respect to conflict management, it is incumbent upon the
Forgiveness: A perception and motivation study among married adults, Orathinkal, Vanseenwegen and Burggraeve (2008) explore the manifestation and effects of forgiveness in intimate relationships. The paper begins by stressing recent interest among mental health experts in forgiveness. A discussion of related terms such as reconciliation, excuse and exoneration follows. The focus of the paper is on forgiveness for "interpersonal violations" such as physical attack, infidelity and incest. Research supports
These researchers examined the notion of forgiveness in formal therapy in the article entitled, "Positive Responses to Benefit and Harm: Bringing Forgiveness and Gratitude into Cognitive Psychotherapy." I found this article particularly compelling because it demonstrated how scientists and shrinks were turning with more attention to the powerful process of forgiveness and using it in clinical settings and encouraging their patients to use it. For example, "Forgiveness and gratitude
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