¶ … forgive?
The Holocaust museum in Skokie, Illinois carries the motto "Remember the past, transform the future." It does not talk about forgiveness. It talks about using the past to transfer the future into a more constructive and positive experience that uses the lessons of the past to do so.
This essay discusses the concept of 'forgiveness' and goes into when it should and should not be applied.
Forgiveness
Nietzsche made a salient point that forgiveness is like nirvana. In fact, the whole concept of forgiveness reminds me of the Buddhist philosophy. Buddhists believe that life is inevitably one of frustration, disappointment, pain, and suffering. We have our disappointments and hankerings that turn out to be bloated and misplaced. Even desires, when met, turn out to be temporary. Life is one of unceasing travail and loss and many of us are sensitive to the hurt that life throws at us. Part of this hurt consists, to, in hurtful things done to us by others.
How can one let go of this pain?
The first step is to realize that our perception of life is such to our adhesion to desires. Were we to surrender our attachment to perceived needs and material possessions, life may appear to hold less suffering and disappointment than it does.
These desires (tanh?) come in three forms and the Buddha described them as the Three Roots of Evil. They are:
Hatred and intolerance
Ignorance and delusion
Greed and desire
It is these three categories that cause us to react in the negative way that we do to misfortune and actually cause us to interpret phenomena as unfortunate when another person, liberated of these toxins may have a more content perspective to the world.
Bearing hatred to the other comes under the form refusing to forgive since withholding forgiveness, ipso facto, implies dislike of the other. (We may also extend it to the other two categories in that (a) ignorance and delusion -- were we aware of the whole story behind the action, we may find it easier to forgive and (b) greed and desire -- it is our implication of our self that makes it harder to eliminate the pain).
The way to liberate one from these desires is to diffuse them, to see them as naught. To reach the state of Nirvana -- a blessed, content state -- is achieved by moving beyond events and remaining unaffected by them. Nirvana is a state of profound spiritual contentment and bliss -- the state of 'emptiness' -- where one is benevolent both to humans and all living creatures, realizing that we are all united in a holistic and interdependent hub of life.
Says the Buddha:
When a noble disciple has thus understood suffering, the origin of suffering; the cessation of suffering, and the way leading to the cessation of suffering; & #8230; he here and now makes an end of suffering. In that way, too, a noble disciple is one of right view & #8230; and has arrived at this true Dharma [teaching]. (#3; 19). (Buddhanet.com)
Forgiveness, in short, is a reaction that can only be passed by someone who has managed to defuse the hurt and remains oblivious to it. This represents the situation where the person is so oblivious to worldly phenomena and occurrences that he manages to transcend worldly hurt and circumstances and is genuinely able to forgive.
This aspect, or attitude to forgiveness, stands out in sharp polar contrast to thinkers who perceive forgiveness to be unrealistic and a 'ninny' concept. Jesus, famously, prescribed 'turning the other cheek': "But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also" (King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.); Matt. 5.39).
Critics of Christianity (e.g. Hitchens 2007) believe that not only is this unrealistic but it is also destructive. It is unrealistic as, for instance in the Holocaust scenario when millions of individuals were destroyed and their religion humiliated whilst their pasts and futures were overturned. The ramifications of the Holocaust continued in both covert and overt ways to wreak an adverse influence on the Jewish nation. Israel, to a great extent, is shaped by the Holocaust still today: its nightmares, its complexes, its fundamentalisms, and the in-fighting of one group to another. It would be, at best, insensitive for an outsider to tell the Jews to forgive the Nazis. Forgiveness, even if attempted, would be preposterous and unreal. How do some forgive when the pain is so entrenched, permanent, and...
Forgiveness and Personality The impact that personality has on the ability to forgive has been a topic of much debate for many years. Many experts believe that certain personality traits can make an individual more susceptible to forgiveness. The purpose of this discussion is to examine whether or not any personality seems to be more forgiving of self and others than other personalities. The investigation will also explore the type of
Expressions of the Word living with us, such as that in Luke 23: 34 nourish one's spirit. Jesus' prayer for forgiveness for those who crucified Him mirrors sustenance that fuels healing and love. In His death, Jesus models the way God does things; the way He shows his love; His forgiveness. Grace, God's unmerited favor, extends not only to those who crucified Him centuries ago; it forgives those today
There are situations where the individual does not feel forgiving at any level and where the only real result of any decision or process would lead only to repression of true feelings. Instead of the author's formulation, I would propose that, subject only to the requirement that the individual actually has a genuine desire to forgive, the road to forgiveness can be through a decision, or through a process, or
In your own words, explain the concept of mediation and demonstrate the role a mediator plays in conflict management. In the given scenario above, evaluate and discuss whether a third party should intervene. Explain your response. Mediation calls for an objective third party to provide a reasonable perspective, a controlling influence and a sense of compromise to an otherwise rancorous situation. With respect to conflict management, it is incumbent upon the
Forgiveness: A perception and motivation study among married adults, Orathinkal, Vanseenwegen and Burggraeve (2008) explore the manifestation and effects of forgiveness in intimate relationships. The paper begins by stressing recent interest among mental health experts in forgiveness. A discussion of related terms such as reconciliation, excuse and exoneration follows. The focus of the paper is on forgiveness for "interpersonal violations" such as physical attack, infidelity and incest. Research supports
169). Therefore, given the tight-knit quality of most marital relationships, anything short of absolute forgiveness will inevitably result in harbored resentment, anger and hostility. Some types of offenses are not easily forgiven, of course, and marital infidelity certainly ranks among them, but negative reactions in response to even the most egregious offenses can be forgiven if certain conditions are satisfied. For example, Welton and his associates cite the need
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