The Real Pandemic All Along was Social Media

Introduction

In the grand, illustrious history of human catastrophes, few things have managed to warp the fabric of society quite like the unassuming, seemingly innocuous world of social media. Ah, social mediathe digital Pandora's Box that we opened with the naive hope of staying connected. Little did we know that we were unleashing the most massive digital tsunami of arrogance, immaturity, self-centeredness, jealousy, hatred, and all manner of vices that it would soon flood our minds, our schools, our classroomsuntil teens were making TikToks behind the teachers back as a way of acting out. TikToks! Of them dancing! On their phones! Needless to say, the future destruction of our society is now guaranteed. Dear reader, this essay is an autopsy of the modern-day plague that is social mediaa vivisection of the beast, if you will. At least, that is what I wish it was. But both autopsy and vivisection imply that the subject is dead. That is very much far from the actual case. This beast yet lives. And thrives. And devours. This is, rather, a study from afar by one who has fled to the forests to tell about it.

First It Took Over the Schools

I begin my assessment in our esteemed and once hallowed halls of education, where the influence of idiotic social media memes, dances, tweets, and challenges has become the equivalent of an intellectual zombie apocalypse. Students, you know, the supposed future of our society, now wander the corridors, eyes glued to their little screens, thumbs flicking in a trance-like state. The only time these adolescents come to life is when they realize a camera is on and someone is recording a dance: then they jump into action, twist their bodies, gyrate, and flex, giggle and laugh, post and likeand then it is back to the hypnotic glued-to-their-phones trance. Their minds were once fertile grounds for knowledge and critical thinking (supposedly). Now they are merely breeding grounds for the latest TikTok trends and Instagram filters. The three R's (anybody remember them?even teachers?reading, writing, and arithmetic!) have been replaced by a new curriculum: retweets, reposts, and reactions. High schools are literally Hell.

The Mutation of Reality

I survivedbarelyhoping that somewhere out there in the real world beyond the walls of the average public school, things had not yet quite gotten so bad. I looked beyond the walls of our academic decay, hoping against hopeall too naively I soon found. What to my surprise did I find? Social media has masterfully orchestrated a mutation of reality itself. The world that was once so vast and diverse is now a mere reflection of what can be compressed into a 5-inch screen. Here, reality is not what is logical or factual, ideal or transcendent. It is merely what is viral, sensationallasting seconds...

…wall; social media is the fires blaze that casts shadows on the wall, with which we are enamored.

But walk outside. Leave the cave behind. What will you see? The ugly reality. Social media has turned schools into digital wastelands, warped our sense of reality, and made a mockery of human relationships. It has created a world where ugliness and the absurd are celebrated. Faces of Death used to be a cult phenomenon shown in theatersnow you can hop on Twitter (sorry, X) and find more videos of death and murder in five minutes than you would have seen throughout the entire decades of the 80s and 90s. What kind of digital Hell is this? The posts of the superficial are taken as profound, and the trivial captures attention as though it consisted of genuine critical thought. In fact, social media trivializes everything. No wonder Trivia Night on Tuesday at the local pub is always so packed! Its all anyone knows or cares about anymore! Name this 90s tune? Who did Rachel marry on Friends? SPORTS!

Sigh. This is the world social media has helped bring about. Thanks Facebook. Thanks, Insta. Thanks, Snapchat. Thanks, Elon. Well, at least Elon just told advertisers they could go f*** themselves if they didnt like all the free speech he was letting onto the platform now that it is his. Perhaps people speaking freely risks a little too much real reality seeping through…