Declaration of Rights of Students
A Declaration of the Rights of Students to the Uber Chancellor Supreme
Acknowledging that there is one governor above us, we the students put before his attention and the attention of all a list of complaints, which should, being rational and true, secure a place of prominence in the mind of any man, who calls himself a rational being. This Declaration casts no blame, nor proposes injury; its purpose is only to draw attention to the God-given, natural, and inalienable rights of students. For a student is no less a man than any other -- and for students to be viewed as something less than equal to any other living member of the human race is nothing but an abuse of reason, and an abuse of justice. In justice' sake, in equality's sake, and out of a fraternal bond that separates us not but links us all together in this worldwide struggle for life, liberty, and justice, we give to you, Uber Chancellor Supreme, this reminder of the fact that all students are members of mankind -- and that no member of mankind should forget that:
1. Smoking is not a crime. Yes, some people find it an offensive habit -- but smokers have for some time allowed for this personal qualm. By removing themselves to a separate sphere of the campus -- where non-smokers do not have to travel -- smokers can engage in that timeless exercise, sanctioned by centuries. To suggest that smoking should be banned from an entire campus is to suggest not only something unnatural but also something detrimental. For it is not second-hand smoke that can be the concern -- since second-hand smoke will be separate from those who do not wish to breathe it; the concern, then, must be to extinguish that love of smoking from the human breast of students who have it. Such an act is nothing short of tyranny -- for a man may have many loves, but no man can say which is better. Even if it can be proven that smoking is harmful and ought not be partaken of, we must remember what Ben Franklin taught us in 1775: "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" (The Quotable Franklin). What Franklin means is simply this: liberty is essential to the human spirit -- and to sacrifice it, in this case the liberty to smoke -- albeit in a quarantined area -- must not ever be sacrificed for the presumed safety of a few. A nation founded on liberty will not stand when its liberties are taken away.
2. Gruel and corn hash are not sufficient food supplies for any man, let alone students, who require a wide away of nutrients for many reasons, such as: a) students are of an age wherein their bodies are growing and developing and trying to reach their fullest potential; to limit the body to such empty-of-nutrition food items as gruel and corn hash will seriously deflect the body's natural inclination to become strong; b) not only that but to engage in the kind of intellectual activity so rigorously demanded of a university such as this one, students must have resource to the most basic food supplies -- particularly the five basic food groups, that is: meat, vegetables, breads, dairy -- and sugar; yes, sugar. Oftentimes, a nice can of Mountain Dew before an exam is just what is needed to stimulate the brain to go that extra mile, to endure that last question. Serving only gruel and corn hash is an ineffective way to prolong the body's activities -- and a sure way to limit the mind's capabilities. Thomas Paine makes very clear in The Rights of Man that to forcibly deny or limit that which is good is an unacceptable abuse: "When I contemplate the natural dignity of man; when I...
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