Personal Reflection Paper
Introduction
When it comes to my relationship with my friend Joey, we all seem to end up arguing no matter what the situation is. I have a very dominant personality as does he, and our conflict styles butt heads. In this paper, I will explore my conflict communication with Joey and analyze TRIP goals, power and conflict styles and how they apply to my relationship. Then I will explain how to improve my conflict communication and identify how I would help someone to use conflict communication concepts affecting the working of a team.
Explanation of the Concepts
TRIP Goals
According to Hocker and Wilmot (2014), TRIP is an acronym for topic, relational, identity and process goals. Topic goals are what each party wants (Hocker & Wilmot, 2014, p. 218). A parent may a son to show more discipline. A son may want to have more freedom. With my friend, we both want to be the one calling the shots for our group and we usually have our own ideas of what the group should do, neither of us wanting to relent.
A relational goal is a goal for a particular relationship—i.e., how one wants the relationship to be. For example, I want to be treated with respect by my friend and I want us to get along instead of always arguing. Identity goals focus on maintaining face and maintaining one’s sense of pride and self-worth. My friend sometimes accuses me of being bossy, which aggravates me because I feel that I am generally always accommodative. A process goal is focused on communication and conflict processes and determines how one wants these processes to occur. For example, I want to start applying the maxim, “Never let the sun go down on your anger,” with my friend, which should help me to resolve our differences in a timely fashion (Hocker & Wilmot, 2014, p. 220).
Power
Power refers to influence, i.e., who holds the most leverage in any situation and thus is most likely to control the outcome. In my relationship with my friend, we are both vying for the most power. Neither wants to feel out of control—that is the reason we both act this way. Yet, ceding control does not necessarily mean that one is handing over power. Power can be exercised in many ways, including silently and indulgently. People see their own power in subjective ways. For example, “if you see yourself...…to force these on others. You put them out there so that they can be acknowledged and received and so that others can understand where you are coming from. But this is just the first step because conflict communication is about reaching middle ground and creating win-win situations for the whole team. It is important to use social and emotional intelligence so as not to rob others of face, for maintaining face is important for people’s sense of self-esteem and morale. Considering conflict styles and what the trigger points of others are and what your own weaknesses are can help to better prepare you to overcome conflict by accepting change.
Conclusion
Conflict communication concepts are helpful in understanding why conflict is occurring and changing steps and styles in how one communicates so as to mitigate the risk of conflict occurring. It takes two to tango, as the saying goes, so by focusing on yourself you can make the necessary changes to improve relationships and show others that you are prepared to work with them on achieving solutions to problems. One should be bold and not afraid to voice one’s opinions, but one should be mindful of others and respectful of their needs as well.…
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