How is this achieved? By focusing on what one has accomplished in life and taking pleasure in it: the knowledge that one has raised strong, smart children; that the life one has lived as been one full of meaningful relationships; that one has given something to society; and, that their life has had meaning because of all of these things. This is what Erikson called "generativity," (2009) though Peck focuses more on the things that one has achieved rather than focusing on things that one is achieving on an ongoing basis (2009).
Growing older means that while we must accept our own mortality, we must also accept others' mortality as well. As we grow older, people die around us. While it is a natural process of life, it is not an easy one to deal with. Not only does it cause us to grieve for the people we have lost, but it also reminds us that the day will come for us too. Watching my stepfather grow older (he is seven years older than my mother) is difficult. Last year he had a TMI, which is a minor stroke, and it left my mother incredibly scared. While she is a successful lawyer, she was faced with the thought of not having him. She didn't know...
She became frantic, not knowing what she would do if her husband ever couldn't do these things anymore -- or worse, if he died. This was a very difficult time in my family, not just for my mother, but for the first time, I -- and all of my siblings -- saw our parents as older adults, people who were not hearing the best, having TMIs and becoming tired very early. Where were the parents we remember? The supermom? Studying psychology has made me wonder about them and what they are going through. While it is hard for us -- the kids -- to see them getting older, how do they feel about themselves getting older? I hope that they have achieved Erikson's latest challenge and that they have been able to transcend their egos and that they have found wisdom over despair. This is all that any of us can hope for.
